Something has been on my mind lately…just marinating in there. I am going to ask all of you “Positive Polly” Christians hang onto your hats…I am about to say something that could be considered negative. I do not believe I can change my mindset just by changing what I say (repeatedly changing what I say) or by reading my Bible more. I know…it goes against what so many Bible teachers say.
When my husband was growing up, if he was bored, his mom would tell him to read his Bible. When the kids had too much energy, she would tell them to read their Bible.
I agree that reading the Bible is good. When you put good things in, good things come out…eventually. However, there are many Biblical scholars, people who know the Bible from cover to cover, who are not Christ followers. They have knowledge without wisdom or understanding. Proverbs repeatedly admonishes us to gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Knowledge is information, wisdom is the belief in the knowledge and understanding is putting the information into action (or in some cases non-action).
Simply knowing the Bible is not enough to change your mind. There must be power behind the words.
1 Corinthians 4:20
For the kingdom of God is not in word but in power.
What is the power? The power is The Spirit. The Word of God combined with the Holy Spirit is the power that swings the sword; the word that is as powerful as a double-edged sword. (Hebrews 4:12)
When I was young in my walk with God I tried so hard to be ”positive”. I read all the books that informed me as to how I could be a “good” Christian. I surrounded myself only with other positive Christians. In the end, I always felt so badly about myself because I never measured up to what the books said I should be. Any time I would have a negative thought, I would feel guilt because I wasn’t being a “good” Christian. In reality, the standard is the Bible and no human ever measures up….there are no “good” Christians. If you think you are then I am pretty certain we could have some conversations about pride. (I’m just saying…)
Just reading my Bible and memorizing scriptures didn’t cut it for me. In fact, sometimes I still have negative thoughts and even struggle with over-coming some mindsets.
There are several steps that have worked for me…
1. Working with the Holy Spirit to identify what thoughts are mine and what thoughts are arrows being shot at my mind. (Pray – relationship reveals areas of potential growth)
2. Taking an active role by putting on the armor of God, daily (reminder for myself to re-establish this habit) and praying that the mind of Christ be established in me.
3. Binding and rebuking thoughts that bring death and destruction.
4. Focusing more on being who God made ME to be rather that trying to be who everyone else says I should be…
Change doesn’t happen over night. The power to change is only through the Holy Spirit. Through His Spirit we are continually being transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. I am not perfect. I am being perfected. If you are focusing on me, you will find areas that are “under-construction”. If you are focusing on yourself, I will probably let you down (because it’s all about you). If you are focusing on Jesus, then our journeys are heading in the same direction….let us encourage each other.
Filed under: What's Going On | Tags: Casket, death in the family, funeral, Uncle Willie, Willie Bordovsky
Today we buried a great man, William Bordovsky; for those of us related, Uncle Willie. He wasn’t a great man because he was wealthy, although he had a wealth of friends. He wasn’t great because he had power, although he was influential beyond what he realized. He wasn’t a king, a politician, or a teacher per say. We know he was great because we had to park on a highway and walk a block to the church for his funeral. We know he was great because there were no more seats in that church. Everyone attending the service knew it was going to be a long one so they were committed to saying goodbye to this great man.
As the casket was carried in, my uncle’s influence was realized. Two generations of men carried him in; two of his grandsons and five of his nephews (a son of each of his siblings, save two). Not one of those men live in Karnes City, each traveled a distance to carry the casket of a beloved uncle and grandfather. Each of them at some point in their life was mentored and taught by this man. He knew a lot. He knew farming and ranching and could fix just about anything. He had integrity and was fair. He extended respect to everyone.
Although he lived several places, he and his family always seemed to make it home to Karnes City. I never knew he lived anywhere else. He had put down roots in Karnes City that were not easily moved.
Memories are funny things, everyone has them but they are all different. To me, Uncle Willie was always a just slightly older version of my dad. That didn’t change today, they buried him in a suit with his cowboy hat and boots….I’ve seen my dad wearing almost the exact “get up” on occasion. His voice sounded so similar to my dad’s voice. He was always calling some kid into check (like my dad). To me, when Uncle Willie was around, everyone had a dad because he was always willing to step in and teach you something, give you some advise or correct you if you needed it.
Community was family. Uncle Willie married Aunt Gladys and they stayed married. They had three daughters and a son. Family was a priority. Although they live in different places, they are a tight-knit group. You can’t teach that so much as you pass it on to your children; that is a legacy.
See, every nephew and grandson needed that extra “fathering” at some point. When you get that, you are willing to travel a great distance to carry a casket.
Who will carry your casket?
Recently, I’ve been experiencing some issues with my eyes. I’ve become very sensitive to sunlight. No, I have not gone to the doctor. The first action I am taking is to PRAY for healing.
When I was growing up, there were some times when our family didn’t have any medical insurance. Honestly, I do not remember going for “checkups” like most kids go to today. My parents didn’t have the funds to run us to the doctor every time we caught a cold. We prayed a lot. Seriously, only in situations that were dire did we go to the doctor. When the doctors told my parents that my baby sister possibly was not going to walk, they did not schedule a surgery or consult more experts. They took her to church and had the pastor lay hands on her and pray for healing. She began walking shortly there after.
As Americans we have become so “self-sufficient”. We have decided to put our faith in the government to provide our health care. Several years ago, I went through a financially “stretching” time. I had no insurance. One of my frequent prayers was “God you are my insurance policy”. There was only one time I can remember having to go to the doctor during that time…it’s a long story but it turns out I am extremely allergic to aspirin.
But I degress…back to the eye situation. I’ve been praying. Dennis is praying. The intercessors on our prayer team have prayed. Still, not completely back to normal. My eyes are much better at night. So I’ve been thinking about light and darkness.
We had the opportunity to talk to a young believer who is struggling in her living situation. One of the things I said was “be the light in that dark place”.
As I was thinking about light and darkness and being the light…
The greater the darkness, the brighter the light.
This is so true spiritually too. When darkness surrounds us, our greatest opportunity to shine presents itself. Or when we are surrounded by darkness (the people around us) again, when we shine, it changes everything.
Shine!!!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alabama, christian, Church, moving, Texas
Several years ago, I made a big move. I moved from Texas to Alabama…round 600 miles from where I was born and had lived my whole life. It took a while for me to make decisions and actually move. I knew for a year that I was going to move. God put it in my heart to move. I really wanted to move to San Diego, CA (it is a beautiful city with a great climate.). The doors didn’t open there.
Here were some of the things that happened on my journey to “moving”. Bishop Phillips was preaching a message and in the middle of the message he said, “Alabama is hard work.” It was a little random. I visited Mobile, Al and found that it is a beautiful city…I fell in love. I received several prophetic words regarding moving. One was, something like, “God is moving you, geographically” and another said, “God is moving you and this move will set things in order…” both of these words came from individuals who had no idea I was considering moving. Another thing that happened was a surge in finances that covered the move and expenses I had when I arrived…God financed the move.
There was also opposition. A key spiritual leader in my life told me I was missing the will of God. My dad was not all that happy about the idea of me living so far away. I had to know that the move I was making was what God wanted to for me; His will.
It was an exciting season. What was God going to do? Anything could happen…I was reminded of God’s unlimited potential.
What happened? Everything good, bad and ugly happened. It was revealing. I found out some good things about me and some really ugly things about me. And also that God loves me no matter what.
That same excitement has been stirring lately. I am anticipating God moving…or God moving us.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: christ church, Dennis Chavez, John Ragsdale, lyric, Lyrics, Music, Paul Thompson, Prayer, Relationship, Relationships, song writer, You are Holy
Dennis is in one of the back rooms paying the keyboard and/or the guitar and the singing. On the way to church this morning we were listening to John Ragsdale sing “You are Holy” (based on Isaiah 6 – you can check it out here http://www.johnragsdalestore.com/fr_index.cfm it is on the CD “The Sound” and it is song 5 or 6). Dennis tried singing the lyrics in Spanish…they didn’t fit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So I challenged him to re-write the song in Spanish…to be clear, to re-write the lyrics and the music. He was working on that.
So I decided to do a little writing.
We’ve been hearing a lot lately about “Getting Connected”. Getting connected to the Holy Spirit, connecting to community, connecting to …you name it. Apparently we are designed to connect.
It all sounds good. Sometimes, what we think we should connect to isn’t what God is working to connect. Today I wanted to go to a birthing class our church was having. I had been personally invited. I wanted to go because I want to connect with the women at my church and many of then are mothers and they are passionate about child birth and all things related. It is good. It didn’t work out. We went had planned to attend an appreciation service for Bishop and Sister Thompson, one of the pastors who prayed for us at our wedding. The service was longer than I realized.
It was a great service. And we met so many wonderful people. We met the couple who pastor Christ Church in San Marcos. They are a lovely couple with young children. We enjoyed meeting them. It was funny, I saw them during the service and I thought maybe I knew them from somewhere. You know when you get that feeling?
Lately, I have found that I have become friends with several women who are very strong Christians but who do not attend “my church”. I’ve also become friends with some women at my own church who some might say are “unlikely” friends. Once again, it is not always the people we think we should be friends with but the ones that God connects us to.
It reminds me of a message that John Ragsdale preached about getting the right relationships, the right reasons and the right resources. (I know back to John Ragsdale – hey, this guy doesn’t just sing, he and his wife are also great preachers! You should look him up.) In our lives, we need to pray that we would have the right relationships in our lives, the right reasons (motives) and the right resources…when these things line up, it’s all good.
So here is to connecting the right people.
Filed under: Prayer, Uncategorized | Tags: Holy Spirit, intercessory prayer, Prayer, prayer team, prayer teams
In my previous, “Random” blog, I made mention of acclimation to the Spirit. How we have a tendency to “get used to” the Holy Spirit that are frequently exposed to. I’m not sure that is a good thing at all. I know it happens. Sometimes, it isn’t so much that we “get used to it” as it is we “aren’t as aware” of it.
Our Tuesday night prayer team meets in our Pastor’s office (usually). We are pretty free flowing. We have a mission: to pray God’s Will, God’s vision and God’s mission for Promiseland San Marcos. Very simple. And off we go. Sometimes we are loud. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we eat carpet. It is according the leading of the Holy Spirit.
We have been doing this for over a year. We haven’t grown much numerically, although we have almost doubled…we started small. Even so, I’ve been disappointed and a little frustrated.
A few weeks ago, one of the intercessors shared some information with me. She told me one of the staff members came into the outer office while we were praying. He told her he could hear us “tearing it up” and the Holy Spirit was so strong in the outer office that he couldn’t stand, he had to kneel right there and pray.
That encouraged me.
At a service shortly after that I heard Sister Hayes’ story about a church they were pastoring. She wanted to encourage the church members to attend pre-service prayer. Week after week she was the only person praying. She began praying that God would move on the congregation to PRAY. On week, she was in the prayer room alone again, she was in a deep place of prayer; crying out to God. When she finally finished and looked up the prayer room was full. Someone told her later, they were in the sanctuary and suddenly they felt a call to pray.
Deep in my heart, I have this spark of faith that one night, on a Tuesday, while we intercessors are praying for a our church, the Holy Spirit is going to fall on the whole Promiseland Campus and everyone who is on the premises(that is when the worship team and the dance team meet) will fall to their knees and pray. I keep waiting and anticipating it….
Filed under: Thoughts | Tags: Bishop Kenneth Phillips, Bishop Phillipis, Pray, Prayer, Random Thoughts, Write, writing
In recent months I haven’t felt compelled to write. I love writing. I haven’t felt much like praying either and I love praying.
Today we visited some friends of ours at their church. Our friends brother was preaching (evangelist – we really dont’ see a lot of true evangelist any more) and she invited us. So we attended our church and then their’s (because we try not to skip our church – do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together). Hopefully, what I say next will not offend anyone. The church they attend is pretty small compared to what I am accustom to. What I am accustom to is excellence, perfection, you could even say the “wow” factor. I am used to churches with media; lights, sound systems, screens, technology. There is nothing wrong with that. This church is still “starting out”. As we were enjoying worship this morning I began to think about why we keep visiting this church. I have lots of friends who attend different churches that I very seldom visit. This church is not fancy. Nothing about it would be considered opulent or spectacular or even cutting edge. The simplicity of it all is conducive to the Holy Spirit. There is freedom in worship but it is small enough that everyone (anyone who is looking) would see you. They are pretty much out of space. There is no Sunday school program for the kids, so they are in the service, sometimes walking around. The message is the Bible. Sometimes you look up 20 or (today 30 ) scriptures. After service, people hang around. There are lots of hand shakes and lots of hugs (I think that is why Dennis likes to visit). They are still small enough that they are a family. (Which reminds me of something T.D. Jakes said on a CD that pastor gave the leaders to listen to he said as your church grows, in order for it to work, it will have to become less of a “family” and more of an “army”. Which the army has some similar aspects as a family but with a militant attitude – that last part was me-hey, I said this would be random). The point is, God isn’t always in what we think He’s in. He doesn’t need or (I think) want our concert worship, so much as He desires authenticity.
Why does God skip over some of the larger churches and come to a small gathering of believers with one keyboard and one guitar (not even any drums-how can we even raise our hands without drums??)? Because it’s not about all that…it’s the heart that counts. Simplify.
Which leads me to another though. So I have started writing again. It has started in a place that it started to begin with. It started with writing letters; notes really. Last week I wrote a few notes to friends who helped us out last month. Which made me think of something I am going to do for the servolution (I’m not going to tell what it is)…but it involved writing some letters.
At a Promisegroup we attended recently we talked about the subject of Spiritual gifts. And someone said they had gifts that “come and go” which I said isn’t true because the Word says “the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29) which means, once He gives them He doesn’t take them back. God is NOT an indian giver (is that politically incorrect these days?). I concede that sometimes a gift can lay dormant for a while.
Which takes me back to the writing thing. I tend to be a hyper critical person in some ways. (maybe on our next “Game On” that will be my bad habit to break-or perhaps I should just work on it) So I am not one to “hand out” complements. If I happen to complement ( someone, it is true. I don’t make things up. I think I used to be an exhorter. The memories seem vague but still there that at one time, I encouraged people. Awaken gift!!! (just going to go ahead and speak to that) Actually, I’ve been feeling that stirring in me.
Tonight I read a posting by my Bishop (Bishop Phillips will always be “my Bishop”). He said that he felt that he did not preach well today; basically that he failed. So I felt compelled to write a note to him. He wrote me back a personal note…always encouraging. Recently, I had thought about some things at Promiseland from when I was growing up. We always take things for granted. Almost everyone does it. Maybe it’s human nature. We acclimate. If we attend an anointed church, we will eventually acclimate to the anointing there. We are not as sensitive to the Holy Spirit as someone who walks in who isn’t accustom to the anointing. We become accustom to the man of God who does most of the preaching (that is why they bring in “special speakers” – to raz everyone up a bit and who doesn’t love to hear some Bro. Kevin Neland?). Today I quoted Bishop to some of the young singles. I find that I quote the Bishop quiet a bit. Why? Because if you attend a church for years and years and years, you hear some things over and over. You know, those things that your pastor says over and over, are many times what you need to hear echoing in your hear in your darkest day. Bishop always says “Pray”. You will always hear some or all of the following at Promiseland, “Come early and visit the prayer room. Pray. Intercessory Prayer is on Thursdays in the ****. Early Morning prayer is Monday through Friday from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m.” This is not an exageration…we got tired of hearing about prayer and prayer meetings (wow, he is sooo Moses and we are so the despondent children of Israel sometimes). Bishop always appreciated the intercessors. Not over the pulpit necessarily but every time he would see you he would say ,”Thank you for your prayers”. Aknowleged. Appreciated. That and the fact that he prays (always led by example) make him a leader people are willing to serve and follow.
I used to work on 51st street (one random thought leads to another) and I would frequently go Promiseland and spend my lunch or right after work in the prayer garden. So many times while I was in that room (divided by a brick 1/2 wall) I would hear the Bishop come in and walk around on the other side praying. I would never see him and he would not know anyone was there…he doesn’t just talk about prayer – he prays. That’s not to say I need to see or hear my pastor to know that he does it. It’s just a testimony of a great man I know. There are no shortcuts in the Kingdom. If you want to be great, spend time with the ONE who is great. Greatness comes from reflecting the One with whom you spend time.
As you can see, I felt like writing and it came swiftly and rushed in and there was volumes to write. But that’s all for tonight (oh no, now I am rhyming – that’s not right). Good night.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Facebook, Lukemia, Order, preacher, twitter
I haven’t been doing much writing recently; not feeling very inspired. I keep thinking I have a story to tell but I am not sure what it is.
We are about to embark upon a Diet Game. Yep, being pregnant, I wasn’t doing much exercise so I’ve pretty much gone to the pigs. That’s right, I’m talking bad about pigs. The game is based on the a book; The Game On Diet. It is all about establishing healthy habits…like exercising, eating right and drinking A LOT of water.
October is my birthday month and interestingly enough, we are broke right now. For my birthday, I don’t really want gifts, I want to do thing…like take a trip to Alabama or Florida and even visit the Big Easy on the way and have some biengets. I guess we will see how things turn out. I haven’t exactly been feeling like God is for me lately…not that He’s against me. Maybe it’s a matter of alignment on my part. I find myself once again looking for the “sweet spot” and wishing I could live in it.
Sometimes I think Max Lucado sends too many Tweets on Twitter. (just a thought) Yet, I still “follow” him. Twitter is a very revealing tool. Some people are way more shallow than I expected. Bishop preached a sermon recently about “being deep” and going deeper. Then there are some people who are just trying too hard. I want to tell everyone on Twitter…I don’t need to know what time, where and with whom you are having lunch.
I saw a tweet from rather well known minister who wrote, “Look at me delivering a serious prophetic word in my barefeet”. I thought this tweet said it all “Look at me…” So many times tools like Twitter and Facebook become “all about me”.
Mean while, I found out recently that an acquaintance of mine has Lukemia…the really bad kind (as if there is any good kind). It has been weighing on my heart. He has some time to get everything in order and to make peace with God. That is about the best news in the whole situation. The bad news is this incredible talented writer is down. This is one of the most creative people I know and his light isn’t shining as brightly these days….almost like glory fading. Breaks my heart. This cannot be the “WILL of God” for someone so full of glory (Glory is man fully alive – St. Ignasias) to fade. So we pray and wait and wish there was something we could do to change the circumstances.
Spoke to a friend yesterday who lost her wallet….with all the rent money in the wallet. I’m thinking we might have to exercise some servalution for her and her family. It will take a group effort though. Our emergency fund is nil right now. We need some stimulus in our finances as well. (Anyone know of some writing I can do at home??)
Well, I’ve rambled on and possibly preached a mini-sermon or two. It’s time to get some things in order.
Last week we went for our first pre-natal visit and received some bad news. They could not find the baby’s heartbeat and it did not appear to be the size it should have been.
This situation may not be bringing out the best in me because I wanted to smack the nurse that day…she called it a spontaneous abortion. What an F.O.N. (Freak of Nature). Who tells a woman who just told you her and her husband have been trying for a year to get pregnant that they are experiencing a “spontaneous abortion” ?
The good news in all of this is 1. We were able to get pregnant without “help” (other than God) and 2. Everything on my end was good – it was the baby who failed to sustain life.
So I will have a D&C on Thursday to help my body reset and in a few months we will try again.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Have you ever woken yourself up from a dream laughing or crying?
Maybe it is being pregnant but I woke myself up laughing and talking in my sleep…or maybe Dennis woke me up because I was laughing and talking in my sleep.
I was having this dream and this guy Paul I grew up with was going to build a house. There was an old farmhouse on the property and I was telling him to renovate that and live in it while he was building his house. My mother told him not to do it. She said that we would want to live in the house later but we needed to live in a bakery. She wanted us to own and live in a bakery. I was very angry with her for saying that. I felt like she was telling me that is what I had to do with my life. I told her, “Do you know what kind of crackheads hangout in bakeries?”…I actually said that out loud and even as I said it, it struck me as funny. I do not actually know many crackheads; a few former crackheads. I have never heard of crackheads hanging out in bakeries.
