Confession

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James 5:16

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

We made it to Dallas to the Kairos Conference at Gateway Church.  EVERYONE needs to attend at least one Kairos Event. Yes, that seems like a all inclusive statement…it is.  No matter if you are in ministry or if you just started your journey, it would minister to you.  Gateway has been incredible.  They provide this conference free of charge and they still provide excellent worship, Word and even snacks.  They are truly blessing the Kingdom.

Click here for more information.  While you are there, check out all the free online classes.  They are worth watching.  Our Life Group actually watched them over three months in preparation for this trip.  Over half of our Life Group attended.  Wow, I cannot wait to see what God does with these people!

In any case, the Kairos experience is a two-day conference of sorts.  There are no name tags or titles, so all of you pastor types, yes, you can attend in anonymity.  A variety of different people speak throughout the conference and they are not “introduced”.  Which means the audience doesn’t really know what they are going to speak about, although there is an order.   The speakers were excellent.  Each one of them had a clear message and were good speakers…no weird distracting habits in the bunch.  They did provide us with workbooks.  After almost every session they had a activity of some sort.  At the beginning of the conference they asked that attendees refrain from ministering to each other.  They explained that we were there to receive and reminded us they had a large ministry team available to minister to us.

One of the first activities was “Confession”.  They spoke about the importance of confessing our sin.  The ministry team assembled at the front and they asked that anyone who would like to confess, to get in one of four lines and wait for someone to come available on the ministry team.  They said that some people would not have anything to confess.

I sat in my seat thinking, “Do I have anything to confess?”  One word came to my mind.  It was something simple.  I thought, “I’ll just talk to my friend about this…”  God said, “They said not to minister to one another.  The Word says, confess…that you may be healed.  You want to be healed, right?  That’s what you are here for.  You are here and you need to follow their directions and the order here.”  That was enough for me.  I picked a line.  It turned out to be the longest line.  Some people ahead of me must have had a lot of things to confess.  Several people lined up behind me and then went and get into another line because the line was moving so slowly.  As I waited, some other thoughts began to flow into my mind.  We have been through the ringer the past few years, from church conflict to being foster parents, we have had some heart breaks.  By the time, I arrived at the front of the line, in addition to the one word I wanted to confess, I had a whole other list of things.

Even before we went, while our Life Group was watching the videos I realized that back when we were fostering the newborn twins and after loving them for 7 months and basically nursing them back to life (according to the authorities) I had become distant with God and my prayer life had (please excuse my language) gone into the crapper.  The truth is, at that time I asked God to work it out for us to keep the babies.  That didn’t happen.  And I was heart broken and angry.  I did not, at any time ask God what He wanted me to pray for the babies or the situation.  I wanted what I wanted.

As I confessed, the tears flowed.

After confessing, the minister prayed with me and made some declarations.  Then he simply said, “You are forgiven.”  While I know that we confess our sins to Jesus and we are forgiven, there are times when we need to hear, “You are forgiven.”  It is freeing. 

The two-day conference set so many things in order.  One of the main things that happened was, I was healed of the pain of losing babies; God’s babies.

Over the past year, we only fostered one other little girl.  We have been contacted several times to foster babies but every time, the situation was not the criteria we wanted.  We were very interested in fostering to adopt a Hispanic or Hispanic-Caucasian baby as that would reflect our family.  In one year, we were offered at least 3 Caucasian babies.  We were even offered a set of twins.  When a Hispanic baby did come available, we would put our name in and each time, someone else was chosen to take the baby.  It was strange because we have experience with newborns, premature babies, babies exposed to drugs, special needs children.  One of our caseworkers told us it can take years to get an adoptable  newborn.  We have even had some issues within our family that should have placed a baby with us.  We were pretty settled on completing our current adoption and not fostering any more.

I’ll have to write another blog about the section on Soul Ties.

On Friday, the conference was to wrap up on Friday at 5 p.m. A little after 4 p.m. our agencies placement person called.  I had my phone on silent and when I saw it buzzing, I declined the call.  She left a message.  Which I am a little ashamed to admit, I listened to it in the sanctuary.  The message was they had a two-day-old, Hispanic baby girl they were looking to place and would we be interested.  I went outside and called her back.  I was so sad.  We were over 4 hours from home.  The way the system works, especially with babies, is you have to be ready when they call and be able to drop everything to pick a baby up from the hospital.  I told her, “We are in Dallas”.  She asked if we could head back to town right away.  I explained that we had a group with us…it would have been a mess…we were all sitting apart and there were somewhere around 600 people at the conference.   Our plan was to drive home on Saturday.  She asked if I could jump on a plane.  (yes, for $200 I could have done that).   She then told me, “Let me make some calls”.  I told her we would be in a meeting until 5 p.m.    I went back into the meeting.  As I went, I was praying, “God, I pray that Your will be done in this situation.”  My desire was that it would not be me making something happen.  A few minutes later, I received a text saying, “I haven’t heard back yet but that might be a good thing.”.  Then another text saying, “Pray”.  This coming from a person who I have never heard talk about faith, religion, spirituality or even  in general about God.  The conference wrapped up and we met up with our group.  I was excited but not worrying about it.  Around 5:40 p.m. the phone rings and it is the placement person, she says, “Are you at a prayer meeting?”  I told her, “No but we are at church.”   She said, “You must have been praying because you got her.”.  Wow!

We were able to stay another night, have dinner with friends and head back on Saturday to meet our baby girl.  In addition, a friend of ours from church came over with a load of diapers, formula, wipes and baby cloths.  It felt like God was saying to me, “Blessing with blessing.”  He is blessing and He is providing for the blessing.  It was one of those “my cup runs over” moments.  

Confession brought healing and it seems that healing has unleash a damn of blessing.  We have so many more testimonies of what God healed and what God is doing in our lives.  

Confess and be healed.  

 

 

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