Yesterday I had HUGE Mama-drama….which fortunately for all my family and friends, played out on Facebook.  We were having friends over for dinner so I was cleaning everything including the kids.  I put the 3 1/2 year old in the tub.  He doesn’t stand in the tub, he doesn’t splash a lot, he just plays quietly with his toys.  Seriously, I have family members who tell me that I am so, so lucky that my boy isn’t hyperactive or mischievous. Now that he is talking, he talks non-stop.

So I am running around in the general vicinity of his bathroom.  Throwing laundry in the washer, tidying up.  I had checked on him several  times.  Then it got kind of quiet (did I mention he talks a LOT!)  and I heard the tub water sloshing around. So I peeked in to tell him not to splash the water out of the tub and the water looked….what I can only describe as murky. It took me a few minutes to identify what was going on.  He knew it was wrong.

The sloshing was him trying to “hide” the poop.  Unfortunately, like most boys, he poops like a man (not that I know a whole lot about that…before children I liked to pretend no one poops.  It was something to be done privately, at home, with lots of air freshener).  There was a huge log (I’m kind of gagging writing about this now) along with all these floaties as well as several smeared spots where the dissolving (sloshing)  effort failed miserably.

He finished his bath with a shower while I tired to drain off the smaller pieces.  Unfortunately, this only caused a steaming effect that burned the nose and eyes and caused more gagging.

I did managed to pick up the large log with toilet paper and flush it down the toilet.  I tried spraying the poop out which did not work on the smeared poop at all.  Then I tried soaking it with bleach.  I used almost a whole bottle of bleach on this project.  That didn’t work either.  I finally accepted the fact that the smeared on poop would have to be scrubbed.  So I grabbed some Lysol toilet bowl cleaner and my toilet brush and got to work.  After the poop was rinsed out, I did soak all the bathtub toys in the tub with bleach.  After all this work, I took a bath in my bathroom in my bathtub. I am not sure when I will be able to step foot in that bathtub again.

After all of this, I want to have a chat with the perpetrator of this crime against me, my schedule and my bathtub.  I asked him why he did it…he doesn’t understand “Why?”, “How?” and “When?” yet.  So really that was pointless.  I did ask him to apologize for what he did and then we began our “I poop-poop in the potty” mantra that some might consider torture because we have said this so man times over the past few months.

When it happened, I realized cleaning it up wasn’t going to be as simple to clean up as I thought, I posted the question “How do you clean poop out of the bathtub?”  I think my parents had the biggest laugh (completely at my expense), especially, my mom.   Thus, fortunately for my friends and family it played out on Facebook…seriously, I had like 20 comments most of them were, “You’re funny” or “You make me laugh”.

I need to hire a nanny.  Anyone interested?

I am happy to say, today is better…only poop in diapers today.

I never knew that babies drew so much attention.  And twins are even more enticing to people.  It is now my belief that few people think about what they are saying.

Let me preface this by saying that when you foster, you get to the point where, when someone says, “Oh, your child is so cute” (or whatever the complement is) you just say, “Oh, thank you.”  It is not so much that you are trying to pass the child(ren) off as your own so much as the people are strangers who really do not need to know the whole story of you fostering.

With the babies (I so wish I could post a picture but it’s a big “no-no”), it has ten times worse because people will come up and say crazy things.  Here are a few things that people have said or asked me.

1. “Oh, are you nursing them?”  (really???  you are asking me, a stranger, about my boobs??  Obviously, I look like I could be nursing twins.)

2. “Did you have a C-section or vaginal delivery?”  (Again, REALLY???  You are asking me about  my vagina…in PUBLIC)

3. “You look so great for just having had babies” (CLEARLY, it is time to go on a diet if I look as if I was just pregnant)

4. “May I hold one of your babies?  My hands are clean” (I will be the judge of the cleanliness of your hands.  This has happened to me twice.  Both times were moms I had been talking to who at a public place…the Jumpy Place and Chic-fil-a.)

5. “They look like they are part Mexican” (You would never say, “your baby looks white” or “is your baby African American?”…well, I can’t think of any circumstances in which you would say this).

6.  Several older Hispanic ladies have touched the babies’ faces…random strangers.  A friend told me it is a superstition in the Mexican culture that if a baby looks at you then you should touch it’s face so it will NOT have bad luck or a bad spirit come to it.  I am pretty sure this is how the sniffles came into our house.

7. So many random questions about their birth weight, how many weeks along they were when they were born, how long they were in the NICU….which is fine until they ask about your vaginal delivery.  I feel like I am being tested or something.  Maybe it is a test…”Is she really the mom?  I will ask her a series of test ending with what type of deliver and see if she really is the mom.” (no one ever ask you about their poop)

All in all, people don’t always think about what their question is really asking.  The Hubs and I have been hoping to get pregnant for a while and I had several acquaintances ask me, “Are y’all trying?”  (to which I wanted to answer, “Are you asking me about sex life?  Because that’s awkward…for both of us” or “Yep, every night.”  )

A few weeks ago, I found a cute lamp at our local thrift store.  It was $3.   It is a black lamp but I was on my spray paint kick (which I haven’t spray painted or even painted anything since my house has been overrun by newborns) and figured I would spray paint it…I still might.  I thought about getting a red lamp shade for it but nothing was catching my fancy.

Saturday evening, I had to run over to Walmart for some household item emergency.  Since I was out of the house, by myself, I found myself wondering the aisles.  I found this darling lampshade.

And here is what it looks like on my thrift store lamp:

Sorry about the small picture…I took it with my phone and sent it to myself instead of breaking out my camera.  Shame on me.

In any case, I am very pleased.  I even manged to get to Hobby Lobby this week to pick up some items to MAKE a pillow I saw on Pinterest.  Yes, I am a little bit addicted to Pinterest…not addicted more like in love.

If the lampshade interest you, click here.  It really was a steal.

Yep things are pretty exciting around here.  I started writing another blog today but it was too deep to think about while the babies squirmed for passies next to me.  So I decided that I will blog about the latest in my “world”.

If you are keeping up, I’ve been trying to get my house cleaned up.  What I really need is an an organizational overload but that’s another blog.

One big thing is, I feel that my bathrooms are NEVER completely clean.  They still aren’t.  I was hanging out with my friend Shelby the other day and I told her that my bathtubs aren’t clean…I bleach them, I have bought so many different “bathroom” cleaners and yet, they never seem completely clean.  She told me to put Dawn dish soap…

into the tub, fill it with hot water, clean the rest of the bathroom and then give it a scrub and rinse.

IT WORKED.  I didn’t actually clean the rest of the bathroom but I did put dinner on in the crockpot.  The tubs are CLEAN!!! Yeah!  So I thought I would share the tip.

We started out as a fictitious kinship foster.  What that means is someone gave us a 1 year old that we are not biologically related to.  We knew nothing about the system, the process or our rights.  Basically, the government views anyone who takes a child in a glorified babysitter (and sometimes not even glorified) until you have had that child for six consecutive months.

Some of our friends encouraged us to go ahead and sign up to foster “officially”.  Well, what that really means is a series of paperwork,  background checks, inspections, etc.  In order to foster, you must have your home setup as a licensed home.  Meaning, not only do you have to pass through a process but you must open your home to the state(Family and Protective Services), the county (health and fire inspections) and your agency. You must also take several classes.  The process can technically take less than two months but it took us several months.  During the process we bought a house.  So rather than get our apartment licensed and then have to pay for all the inspections again with our house, we waited and just had our house done.  It seemed to take us forever.

I do suggest that you choose a good agency to work with.  We work though an agency here in Texas that is statewide and Christian based.  This works well for us.

There are some choices you get to make like what age children you want to foster.  I had not thought a whole lot about this until some of the classes our agency offered.  They had many warnings regarding protecting our family why fostering.   Statistics show that children who have been molested (no matter what age) will often offend against other children in the home.  In which case you may prefer to foster younger children.  Since our boy isn’t a super assertive child and as far as we are concerned he has been an only child, I didn’t want to foster anyone older than him.   Thank God, some people do not mind taking on the harder cases.

If you are considering fostering “for the money”, forget it.  It doesn’t pay well enough to be worth all the paperwork that is required.  And God forbid someone gets hurt while in your care.  The paperwork involved in minor incidents is crazy. Monthly paperwork is required for each child.  Babies and children on medications require more paperwork.  Oh, and since foster children are on medicaid, many medical and dental appointments are required.  The money paid is considered reimbursement for expenses NOT a paycheck.  This is good when it comes to taxes as you do not have to “count” the income (it is treated like child support).  You can claim children as a deduction so long as they have lived with you for more than 6 months of the year.

As a foster parent, you are NOT allowed to leave foster children even with close family members unless they have passed a background check, had a CPR and first aid class and a TB test.  Be ready to pay extra for the specialized babysitter.

One question I have gotten over and over is, “How do you do it?  I don’t think I could send the kids back.”  For the most part, I think this is the hardest part of fostering (oh, there are a few kids who you are like, “Yes, please get this kiddo out of here”….I am being realistic.  Some kids will not mesh with your family.  Ask any foster parent…if they say this isn’t true, they are lying).  In this area, I’ve learned, I just have to trust God.  You still think about the kid that was only at your house for three days; you just do and there isn’t anything you can do about it.  You cannot really “look them up” or anything.

I’m not ready to talk about discipline…it’s so complicated and many effective methods of discipline are not allowed.

The advantages of fostering…  There are so many kids out there that need exposure to what a “normal” life can be.  There are so many hurting kids; so many exposed to drugs, alcohol and abuse from a young age.  It stuns me how many people are traveling around the world to adopt children when we have so many hurting children right here in good ole America who need good homes.  One of the biggest advantages of fostering is that fostering to adopt is so advantageous.  You get to have children live you to see how they fit with your family.  Once the child becomes available for adoption, instead of it taking a year, the process takes only 90 days.  And when you foster to adopt, the adoption is paid for.

We are fostering to adopt, which is the main reason we signed up to foster.

We are looking forward to the day we can mail out official “Addition to our family” post cards for our boy.   (We have no idea when that might be).

Like I said, I don’t know everything.  If there is anything you have questions about, or want more information about, post a question and I will answer the best I can.

A few years ago, when my nephew was around 4 years old, he told me his favorite restaurant was “Texas Roadhouse”.  I thought that was hilarious and told my sister she was raising a snob.  Obviously a four year old’s favorite place to eat should be McDonald’s.

Last Wednesday we pulled into Logan’s Roadhouse and our 3 and 1/2 year old started cheering and told us, “I love this place!!”.  So basically, our kid’s favorite place is also a steak place.  I hadn’t realized how often we eat at Logan’s…obviously it’s a lot. In our defense, it’s a good deal for us, two adults and one child and we only spent about 24.00 – plus tax and we like steak.

I’m sorry, sister.

It’s okay to raise kids that 1. Like sit-down restaurants and 2. Behave appropriately at said places (most of the time).

Today the babies had a visit with parents so the boy and I had a few hours to hang out, just the two of us.  I took him to the new Krispy Kreme.  Yes, San Marcos, Texas has a new Krispy Kreme and yes, you can get a Kafe Kreme there (Think Latte with a shot of their glaze flavored syrup…very good).  We had a free “Hot Now” doughnut and split a chocolate cake doughnut (they have cinnamon rolls and kalaches too).  Anyway, all hopped up on sugar we took off to run some errands including running out to the outlet mall.  We stopped at Maurice’s because I heard they were having a big sale…they were, I got some great deals.  Next to Maurice’s is the “Nail and Spa” (yes, an Asian run nail salon.  You have to admit sometimes they name their salons using awkward grammar).  I would have loved to stop for a pedicure but I didn’t have the time and the boy would have been bouncing off the walls.  What has been bugging me lately is my out of control eyebrows.  So I popped over for a quick wax.  I used to get waxed all the time.  Frequent waxing leads to fine regrowth that doesn’t hurt so much being wrenched out by the roots.  She leads us back to a little private room with a message table covered with paper.  She asked me to lie down and the boy sat on a little chair right outside the door.  She did talk me into getting my upper lip waxed too.  Admittedly, without naming names, I have family members who have neglected their ‘stashe and thus I am paranoid that mine will grow out of control and I will be blissfully unaware.   If left up to me, I’d wax my whole face just to make sure.

The whole process took all of 10 minutes and as I took the boy’s hand to walk out, he says to me, “Mamma, are you done with the doctor?” I laughed and the eyebrow expert also laughed.

Poor kid has been to the doctor so much in his life (and lately, we’ve been taking the babies ever week or so) that to him a “spa” is the same as going to the doctor.  I can see the similarities…it was actually pretty smart of him to put two and two together. He’s a smart one.

Last year seemed long.  Seriously. 

I want to apologize to all my friends and family members who I lacked grace towards when they had new babies.  Maybe I didn’t voice it and I hope you didn’t know…I hope my attitude wasn’t sucky toward you.  The truth is…babies are hard work.  It takes me forever to “get it together” to go anywhere.  We have been so tired that things that should be getting done haven’t been getting done to my standard and I’m tired enough that I don’t care.

Last week, only three days after Christmas, a caseworker from CPS (FPS) showed up to pick the babies up and without even asking me how are night was (it had been awful) she looks at our front room (the music room that the children do not even go in) and asked me when I was getting it cleaned up.  You see, late on Christmas night, The Hubs unpacked our very full vehicle and put all of our Christmas gifts in the front room.  I had not had time to put anything away.  My sister was going to come over and help me clean up that day but until then, it was a mess.  I came very close to calling her a very nasty name that is close to “witch” and asking her how her house looked three days after Christmas and if she had two newborns who weren’t even near sleeping through the night.  But I didn’t.  I almost cried, but I didn’t.  Then she pretty much treated me rudely until she walked out the door, demanding personal items be sent with the babies although I had already packed them a little bag.  When she came back four hours later, she had no comment about the cleaned up room.  SERIOUSLY.  (And I found out later, she went back to her office and told co-workers that our house was the worst disaster she had ever seen.  Which is a lie from the pits of hell because I’ve seen worse homes than ours on many occasions and she goes to some dark places).

FOSTERING IS A THANKLESS JOB.  CPS does not respect foster parents or treat them with respect…in my experience.  We have had several caseworkers who were so rude to us that we were blown away.  (We weren’t the ones abusing/neglecting our kids)  And there isn’t really anything you can do about it. If we did complain, the caseworker would be informed and we would still have to work with that caseworker.   If anything, I mean anything “goes wrong” (normal things that when they happen with your own kids that require a trip to the doctor) the state launches an investigation against the home and then you (the home) must be cleared.  You cannot leave the children with people you trust without those people going through background checks, classes and medical testing….It is insane. I would like to change the law to require all CPS/FPS caseworkers to have had at least two children.  I have no idea if the caseworker has had children but she certainly seems to have very impractical expectations of others.

If it were not for the children who desperately need some stability in their lives, I would have told that lady to shove it.  I know, not very Christian of me.  I can honestly say, today was the first day I cracked my Bible since Sunday.  There.  I said it.  And yet, there is grace for my season.

That’s what I have been learning. THERE IS GRACE FOR MY SEASON.

Just for Fun:  Over Christmas, the entire family went out to Carino’s for Christmas Eve dinner.  Our normally well behaved boy was pretty good, except I did have to have him move to sit next me because he was giving Pappa (Pop-pop as he calls my dad) a hard time.  When the mean ended we were getting all of our stuff together.  The Hubs took the Boy his coat.  It was cold and raining outside.  He told The Hubs he wasn’t going to put it on.   So The Hubs told him to take a seat (the seating normally reserved for those waiting to be seated).  The Boy started SCREAMING.  No tears, just screaming.  Which I heard from where we had been seated.  I recognized it as our boy and I also recognized it was not a “I’m hurt” scream but a bratty scream.  We have a “no tolerance” policy in regards to fit throwing in our family.  I took him by the hand and told him to cut it out immediately, which he did.  I told him, “We do NOT do that.  You will behave and you will LOVE JESUS.”  My mom and sister thought this was hilarious.  For the rest of the weekend, my sister told the kids to straighten up and “Love Jesus”.  I think it’s good advise.    I am just setting the standard…

When we went to pick up baby brother, we had to purchase a carseat from the hospital.  (We would have brought one with us but we were called at the very last  minute).  Merry Christmas…this is just one of the reasons I will probably not send out Christmas cards this year…plus when would I have time write out Christmas cards.  I have a big box of gifts to mail to mail to the Hubs family.  Yes, I need to mail it.  I realized my box has writing on it which the post office doesn’t allow and also “running errands” with twins is very nearly impossible.

I actually have a new hero.  A girl I met through craigslist.  Her name is Melissa and she gave me, yes, GAVE ME a double stroller.  I used it before but it has been my saving grace with these babies.  She’s my hero because it is a great stroller that folds up and fits in the back of our Exped.  She found the bar that replaces one of the seats and allows you to sit your carseat on the stroller.  I think she saved me quiet a bit of money.  The alternative was going to be some type of stroller/sling system that I would have had to implement until I could purchase a double stroller.

In less than two weeks, we have already spent at least $40 on diapers…and that’s with coupons.  And let’s not even talk about formula….

So for Christmas this year, I’m asking Santa for self-loading bottles and self-cleaning diapers.  I doubt I’ll get my wish but one can ask.

I am not at liberty to go into the details regarding our boy but in the process we went ahead and got our foster care license.  Which means I am not allowed to share any details about names and cases of children we foster.

What I can tell you is, the reason you haven’t heard from me, the reason I have given up my cooking and crafting is because we now have newborn twins.  They are a little high maintenance (aren’t all newborns).

If you have read any of the Momlogs, you know that I have issues with poo.  That’s right, I admit it, poop is not favorite.  The 3 year old still asks me to wipe his bottom and he thinks it is hilarious that I tell him his poo stinks…he is a boy after all.  Well, baby poop stinks too.  Really, really stinky.

Before ending up with two babies, I spent some time in the NICU and they told me generally what the poo should look like.

We have been absolutely exhausted.  Seriously, the Hubs is fast asleep holding his phone up…yes, he fell asleep while doing something on his phone.  This exhaustion has been going on for days now.  On Sunday after church all we wanted to do was take a nap.  We drove into our small town to find food on the way home and he spotted  a burger joint.  Baby girl was already fussing to be fed so I stayed in the truck while he and the boy went to pic us up some burgers.  My only request was no mayo and no onions…a decision I would later regret.

I fed baby girl and then smelled a problem and it was stinky. I was sort of prepared.  I opened the diaper bag and pulled out the changing pad and some wipes.  Then I opened that diaper and found out I was not prepared.  Not only did it smell it was a bright mustard color.  If not for the smell it could have passed as mustard.  I mentioned I was changing her on the back seat of our SUV?  She’s quiet “rolly” (rolls easily).  That turned about to be a bit of a challenge.

Two weeks ago, I purchased this cute shirt from Kohl’s. I may have found my inner “Jersey Girl” because I really like Jennifer Lopez’s “collection”.  The shirt is grey but has a sparkle to it.  I figured it looks festive and I could wear it to our Christmas parties (so far, we haven’t been invited to many).  I wore if a week ago and got some soup on it which didn’t wash out all that well.  Jenny from the Hood should know that rayon should not be used for any shirt that anyone is actually going eat in…but whatever.  On Sunday morning when we woke up at the time we should have actually been at church I threw that blouse on.

The Hubs and the boy came back with burger and the Hubs told me I was channeling my inner Mexican by changing the baby in the car.  I told him moms have been changing babies in backseats since babies have been being conceived in backseats (basically since backseats were invented).

We headed home and ate burgers.  As I was eating the burger which was dripping with mustard, I was almost sick.  I wished I hadn’t  ordered mustard. After lunch, I started trying to clean up since our house is a complete wreck.  It looks like it threw up two babies…baby stuff everywhere. As I am cleaning I look down and see this huge mustard stain but as I am looking at it, I think, “Is it mustard or is it poo??”  And there are only two ways to find out…smell it or taste it and I didn’t want to do either one of those things.  I took the top off to try to wash the stain out and upon closer inspection, there was some cheese in it so I’m pretty sure it was mustard.  I ask the Hubs, “Why didn’t you tell me I had this huge stain???”  He said he hadn’t noticed.  Seriously, it was bigger than a silver dollar.

My mom told me I had to blog this story because she was laughing her head off at me.  So enjoy.  I could also tell you how the babies don’t like my driving but they like the Hubs driving which we often describe as “drunk Irishman”.  I’m not sure what that means.

We are enjoying the babies.  Baby girl is very cuddly and I’ve already beefed her up (she has gained nearly a pound already) and Baby boy is tiny.  Too bad I’m not allowed to post pictures they are real cuties.