You are not destined for “Singleness” if you aren’t married by 25 years of age! Not only was I single when I was 26 both of my younger sisters were married. I did get engaged when I was 29 to a very nice guy. As we planned our wedding…I just didn’t feel “excited” about it. In some ways I felt our relationship was in conflict with my relationship with God. (If you feel this way about your relationship – it is a big RED FLAG!!) I attended a friends wedding and I felt sad…overwhelmingly sad, I knew I didn’t have what they had. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I just knew this guy wasn’t “the one” for me.
I do believe there is a “one” for everyone. My testimony is that if your desire is to get married, God has someone for you. He’s good. He wants good things for His kids. We were not designed to be alone, we were designed with relationship in mind. So the engagement was broken off. It would be several years before I met Dennis.
In the meantime, I had a friend at the Promiseland. She probably doesn’t realize what an inspiration she has been in my life. I consider her a mentor, an encourager, a woman of God. She was dating a man at the church. She loved him. He had been married before and had a child. As their relationship progressed, he made it clear he did no want any more children. She was in her 30s already and she knew that she wanted to have children. She broke up with him (words cannot express how impressed I was at the fact that she knew what she wanted and was willing to wait for it, and at her sheer bravery and faith in God that if they didn’t want the same things, then God must have someone else for her). This man was friends with a younger couple at the church. When they had a little boy, he realized that maybe having more children was in the plan for his life. I am not sure how long it took before he changed his mind but it seems as if it was around 2 years. I love that she didn’t try to change him, she allowed God to work it out. He asked to see her again and they are now married and have two beautiful children.
I think she was thirty-six or thirty-seven when they married. And you know, she’s not old. She is an “old” mother. She is normal.
Her story helped me through several very difficult times in my life. She respected herself. She knew what she wanted. She was willing to wait. She remained faithful that God had good things for her. She found her bliss.
We must (women and men) stop setting goals that are relative to everyone around us (If I haven’t married by 30 I must be an old maid). We must stop listening to people in our lives who put these labels on us (“You will never get married because you are too….”). Our superficial “goals” and the labels of others work against God’s perfect plan for our lives. This speaks to all types of different situations in our lives.
Aren’t we like spoiled children sometimes….angry with God when we do not get what we want? When ultimately He knows best.
One thing I’ve learned, this applies to every area of my life, is God’s plan is the only plan. If I get the job or don’t get the job, God knows what I need. My prayer has been “Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done in my life”. No matter what decision you are facing, just ask God to work it all out according to His plan.