Can there be too much estrogen? I just spent the weekend with the “girls”. We had a great time doing things our husbands wouldn’t like doing like going to Trade Days in Fredericksburg (Texas). And eating chicken salad at a hidden bakery called “Rather Sweet”. I didn’t have the chicken salad – I had a B.L.A.T. (Bacon, Lettuce, Avocado and Tomato Sandwich)…it was great.
After three days, I was so ready to see my husband.
Women are complicated. Seriously. I found out several things this weekend. One of the girls who went, I’ve always thought of her as a friend. I’ve known her for years. One thing I know about myself is I’m not very good at being friends. I am not a traditional friend. I don’t remember birthdays or anniversaries. I rarely send cards. I like talking in person and not much on the phone. I’m not the kind of friend who is going to call you once a week to just catch up. I’m more of a “let’s go have coffee and hang out” person. I also don’t mind being by myself. Since I always have people with me (either Dennis or my sister-in-law who is staying with us) when I get a chance to do something by myself I am likely to take the opportunity. I am not a typical friend. This weekend, I found out that I’m not really very good friends with this girl. I always thought I was but it turns out she doesn’t think so. She brought one of her really good friends with her. The girls were talking about something that had happened; something negative. They all knew what was going on. So I asked “What happened?”. Normal response. You shouldn’t talk about something that everyone knows about except one person unless you are willing to share with that person too. No sharing. It’s not like I was dying to know or anything. But when the response was, “I would rather not say” when it is apparent everyone else knows then what you are really saying is “I would rather not share this information with you”. I felt like an outsider. It was unexpected. It hurt.
It wasn’t just this incident. These women have all been married for years. They are all moms. They seemed to have disqualified me from sisterhood because I don’t fit in their box. I heard things like “You will have to eat your words when you become a parent”.
We complain about that we need affirmation. But we don’t affirm others. We complain about other people in our lives who get more attention than us but then we make things all about us. We want from others what we are unwilling to give.
I left the weekend realizing two things. I miss my girlfriends; Alice, Angela, Jennifer, Jenny, Judy, Daphne. I get to see Judy but most of the other girls I do not get to spend much time with. I need friends who understand, just because I don’t call you everyday it doesn’t mean we aren’t close – if you need me, I’m here for you. But I probably am not going to call for weekly updates. It’s not me. A true friend is someone who just let’s you be you.
We must constantly re-evaluate relationships. They change. Sometimes they change without us even realizing it.
Maybe girl weekends just involve too much estrogen. Hopefully the next trip will at the very least be a “couples weekend”. Because estrogen needs a balance.