As I begin writing the post, the boy is the potty pooping…it could take him a while. This morning, I had an experience similar to one I had in my Momlog on poop….so I have a few minutes.
Now where were we?
I was volunteering with the cafe and youth at the church both were areas Dennis was in charge of. We decided we need take some time to fast and pray for the youth group and our church (in general). In hindsight, I do not remember if we had a specific prayer in mind when we began fasting. I do know that Dennis called me and asked me to hang out. That began the “spending time together” phase. Of course, three nights out of the week we were “spending time” doing some church related activity.
If you know Big Spring, you know there isn’t a whole lot of “night life”. I remember sitting at Sonic one night, wondering…”Is this guy interested? Is he ever going to hold my hand?” I know with as crazy as the world is today so many people skip this step. You know the step where you just hold hands for hours and you know that person’s hands so well because you have explored ever inch of them. And when you hold hands for the first time, there is this spark…it is as if you cannot get enough of that person’s hands. We still hold hands…a lot. (Maybe that is what is wrong with so many marriages today…the skipped holding hands and went right into making out…learn how to hold hands again). He finally, after obvious hinting (making my hand available – obvious to anyone else) held my hand. There were sparks.
That first kiss wasn’t too far behind…a few days maybe. It is sad to say, I remember the first hand hold more than the first kiss. I know he was leaving my sister’s house one night and kissed me on her porch. (I hope they never sell that house). Just a little peck…the first time.
Every good romance has some drama. We may have had more than our fair share. I will get to all eventually.
Because Big Spring is a small town (not too small) and our church was even smaller, I decided I did not want everyone “in the loop” on our dating. There were several reasons. 1. People are nosy and I did not want to start hearing “When are y’all gettin’ married?” twelve times a day. And who needs that kind of pressure? 2. If it didn’t work out I didn’t want the pitty or people trying to get the “story”. 3. It was “ours” and I wanted it to stay “ours” for as long as possible. So as we say at our house, “Keep it secret, keep it safe”. I didn’t even tell my sister which was sooo hard. My thinking was if she didn’t know, she couldn’t answer questions when everyone started asking…and they did; everyone did.
Since I was “new” in town and Dennis had so many friends, they were all asking him not me. He had been sworn to secrecy. He wanted to tell so badly. He is not very good at keeping secrets (good news type things. Seriously, he hardly every buys me a gift and keeps it a secret…he always wants to tell me right away).
Dennis managed the Bean’s World Cafe (click here) which meant we were constantly going to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. (After we married, he wouldn’t go to the store with me for over a year. Now, I don’t ask him to go with me much because he adds things to the basket that I would never buy). There was always something that we needed to pickup. One question that echoes in my mind to this day is, “Did you cook the chicken?” (very good chicken by the way…I still make Bean’s World Chicken every once in a while here at home). One night we were at Wal-Mart. There is a “Murphy’s Law” or maybe it is “Casey’s Law” that applies to Wal-Mart (specifically to Wal-Mart but especially in a small town). The law is “you will ALWAYS see someone you know”. If you are in a hurry, stop at the corner store because you will run into someone who you will have to stop and chat with if you go to Wal-Mart. We were there, holding hands (what were we thinking?) when I spot the pastor of our church. Dennis says now that no one ever disowned his hand so fast. We hadn’t been spotted yet (I think). The funny thing is, we ran into him twice that visit. No more holding hands at Wal-Mart or HEB.
Two weeks into our “hanging out”…we had not had a DTR conversation (Define the Relationship as our friend Keil would say). I told Dennis, “If you are just hanging out for fun, then you need to stop calling me.” (it was very rare for me to call him…boys should call girls, not the other way around…call me old-fashioned). He assured me he was not fooling around.
We were able to keep things under wraps for about a month. My sister started interrogating me. I couldn’t lie to her. She isn’t a gossip, mostly. (I’m laughing…she really isn’t a gossip). People were going to find out. Plus, JoVena kept encouraging Zenon to talk to me (not that he was interested…I didn’t get that impression) but it was awkward and Dennis wasn’t to into it (Zenon talking to me). Plus there were a couple of young ladies who had crushes on Dennis and that needed to be cleared up. So it was time to let the cat out of the bag…
Dennis was talking to his friend and mentor, Rob (Jovena’s husband), and Dennis told him, “It’s official, we are dating”. Rob told Dennis, “Brother, it’s always official”. (Which we often quote this in our house…we laughed pretty hard about it). I think JoVena was surprised. She loves to matchmake but she wouldn’t have put us together.
It was a relief to let people know we were seeing each other.
There was more drama on the horizon…