There was much drama on the horizon. There was church drama, family drama (which are just about the same thing) and of course there was all the emotions that go with it.
To begin with I had “done” the dating thing and I was done with it. Two weeks into us dating, feeling unsure of the Hubs’ feelings, I told him if he was just “hanging out” with me that it would probably be better for him to stop calling. Because I was beyond “hanging out”. He assured me he was serious.
On average (with a few exceptions), I could tolerate dating someone for about five months. At five months, I knew one way or the other if I wanted to spend any more time with him. Basically, it is a miracle I got married because so many people I dated got on my nerves after only 5 months. The Hubs on the other hand (again with a few exceptions) had a 3 month treshold. His story wasn’t that anyone was getting on his nerves but he said after 3 months girls would break up with him. Three months rolled around, around Christmas
One of the Hubs’ sisters lived up the road in Midland. We tried to see her occasionally and since we were both in Big Spring for Christmas and she was the closest family we went and picked her up. She insisted on bringing her boyfriend with her. The Hubs and I were working with the youth at our church and we had promised to wait until we got married before we did married people things. Since that is what we believe and since his sister was still a teenager (it’s a long story how she ended up living away from family so young), we decided the boyfriend could stay the night at the Hubs’ house and sister could stay with me. No problem…supposedly. Sometime around 11pm the Hubs is on the phone with his family, miles away and they are trying to convince him to allow the young couple to stay at his house because his sister isn’t comfortable with me. Rather than compromise our principles, we ended up driving the couple back to Midland (at least a 45 minute drive one way) on Christmas night. Inconvenient, yes, however the problem was resolved. The Hubs apologized repeatedly. And finally told me about his 3 month threshold and asked how I was with all of it. I wasn’t worried. I was a little worried about how people who lived miles away could cause such drama. It’s complex and probably something I will never blog about.
As I mentioned earlier, there was church drama too. Several things happened that caused friction at our church. Because those things have been resolved, I won’t go into it. One thing that particularly hurt was one of the Hubs’ mentors advised him against marrying me. The way the Hubs described it, it was more of a “you should wait, she’s not ready” things. But the person in question was clearly biased against me. This was before we had even decided “for sure” to get married. I guess the Hubs was serious after all.
I honestly thought there might be some drama with my family (not my immediate family) if we decided to marry. You see, the Hubs is Hispanic and I am white as white can be. If anyone in my family thought anything about it, they never said….thank you family.
One thing the drama did was solidify our relationship. It kind of worked “for us” instead of “against us”. Here’s why…because when you get married it is you and your spouse taking on the world. If you are united, truly one, you can take on almost anything. If you are divided…someone is going to get hurt. So what other meant to split us up, really caused us to consider the long-term and how we could work together.
Next time, I’ll tell you how we “got engaged”. It’s not as exciting as you might think. 😀