Leadership: On Discipline


Graham Cooke said once that accountability is more about reminding people of who God says they are than telling them what they are doing wrong.  I like that….it’s positive.

I’ve been learning a whole lot about leadership from my almost 3 year old.  What I’ve found is, if I constantly correct him without having fun with him, without hugging him, loving on him or affirming him, he doesn’t do well…he kind of gives up.  Discipline without all the good stuff (the love stuff) doesn’t really work. 

A week or so ago, we had a very bad day.  He seemed to get in trouble all day long from wetting his pants to just being disobedient (let’s chalk that up to the poor listening skills of an almost 3 year old).  After his nap we had a chat.  I told him, “I love you.  I really do not like having these kind of days.  I want you to have fun days.”  Then I held him and hugged him for at least 3 minutes and sang him a song (hey, he likes my singing).  Shortly after that, I carried him (which I rarely do anymore) and gave him to the Hubs and I got my things to leave (I needed a few minutes out of the house).  I said, “Bye, I’ll be back in a little while”…I thought he was going to cry.  It was sad (I still left) but I also knew that I was doing something “right”.  The balance of discipline and love and affirmation was “okay”.  He knew that I loved him. 

Sure, we all need some words to keep us on track but be careful when you lead that you show people love and appreciation….otherwise you’re just a tyrant or a bully.


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