Momlog 28, 2011: My latest “Mom” Adventures

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Adventure one:  The Doctor’s office

You’ve been wondering why I haven’t written lately…it’s because I am shuttle our little man all over two counties to see doctors.  Some of it is preventative and some of it is to figure what’s going on with his speech.  Last week, we visited a geneticist. It was interesting but that’s not the story.  He did charm the entire staff showing us how fast he could run up and down the hallway (so the doctor could see how he runs).  We had to get some lab work done which meant a “technician” (a guy who learned to draw blood by practicing on his friends…probably) is going to draw blood from a two-year-old.  I was asking myself, “How is that going to work?”.  Apparently, it takes at least 3 people…one mom to “hug” (restrain) two year old, one technician to hold child’s arm still and another to actually draw the blood.  I told the boy to close his eyes while they were putting the needle in…mostly because watching them put a needle in me makes my blood run cold.  I’ve decided the next time I need a needle inserted to go visit the Dell Children’s hospital…the guy got the boy’s vein on on try (which never happens to me…I almost always end up with crazy bruises later from all the pokes they did to find my vein).  Once the needle was in, the boy watched in complete fascination as they drew 4 vials of blood.  When they were finished they put a cotton ball on crease of his arm and taped it.  The boy hopped out of my lap, got the technician’s attention and pointed to his naked creased indicating they needed to poke the other arm.  The tech said he had never had a child ask for the other arm to be poked.  I asked him if he could just “tape” the other arm which was “good enough” for the boy.  He got 4 stickers that day (all the doctor’s offices give stickers).

Adventure Two:  My Ovaries

(great title, huh?)

Yesterday we went to “The Jumpy Place” in Kyle.  The boy loves it because he can run around all feral and I don’t complain about it.  I like it because if we plan it right, I can hang out with my friends in a corner while all of our kids run around crazy until they feel the slightest tinge of hunger when they run up to any random mom and beg for food…which is why the whole idea of a feral child is amazing because really, most children seem completely inept at getting food for themselves.  In any case, the place was packed yesterday and lots of our friends were there including Rowena who just delivered the sweetest baby boy about three weeks ago.  The Hubs and I have been hoping to get pregnant…hopefully as things calm down at the new house…  I was just itching to hold that brand spanking new baby.   I told Ro that I needed to hold him to activate my ovaries.  I finally got my hands on him and he was so sweet and even woke up and looked around.  After a half hour or so (maybe less), he started to fuss a little.  My sister, Judy and I checked out the situation and decided he needed to have his diaper changed.  Off we go to the bathroom (they have a changing table).  Eventually, we get our turn and by this time, his Mamma was with us (hey, newborn being toted off even by friends…I would be there too).  We take off the bottom half of his onesie and I open the diaper and there is a little poo so I was digging around for a wetwipe.  Meanwhile, Judy and Ro are talking.  All of the sudden, a fountain is rising out of the diaper…I let out a little yell and whip that diaper right back over those boy parts.  My yell, startled Judy and Ro and they had a good laugh at me with newborn pee everywhere.  My ovaries went into hiding and now I have to figure out how to lure them out….maybe I should hold a little girl baby.

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