Crazy Fears

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Well, I am working on a new blog titled “Identity Theft”.  It’s sifting and simmering around in my head. In the meantime, I thought you all might enjoy a glimpse into my “crazy” head.   I have some rather strange fears, yet, I am finding more and more that many people have similar fears.

1. I am afraid that one day the show Hoarders on A&E will knock on my door.  You know the show where the person’s house is like an indoor maze (I’m thinking corn maze for those of you who live in the south where they do such things around the end of October) of trash, boxes and strange debris.  The show usually includes abnormal  number of pets, usually cats (I think to keep the rodent problem down) and 9 times out of 10 they find skeletal remains of some animal that most likely went completely insane and lost their way through the maze.  This fear is my main motivation for cleaning my house and yet, my house is not really “clean” right now.

2. I am afraid to list my credit card number on my Amazon account because someone hacked that account and I had to try to get $25 back and it ended up taking me days and I figure the time I spent on it added up to about .87 cents an hour.  Which means now, every time I want to buy a book for my Kindle I have to get online and it all has to be very deliberate…no more random impulse purchases.

3.  This is big, HUGE, I am afraid one day I will give birth on my bathroom floor (another reason to keep the bathroom floor clean) because I didn’t know I was pregnant and then I will end up watching a slightly “heavy” actress who isn’t quiet funny enough to be famous at her current weight, play me on  I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant (show on TLC).  And of course, the bigger fear in this is that people will say the actress either was way too pretty to play me or she wasn’t “heavy enough”…people always think those things.  Not me, I watch the show to say things like, “How redneck can you be??”  or “What happened to her teeth?” or  “Really??  Reeeeaally???”  (which is usually what I am saying to the TV as I watch this trainwreck.

4. That one day my “story”will be featured on Snapped (Oxygen Network) or on Who the Bleep did I Marry on (ID Network – that would be the Investigative Discovery Network).  I don’t plan on killing anyone but occasionally I do feel like I might snap and sometimes I do wonder who the bleep did I marry??  😀

Well, so far, my main fears in life are basically, I fear ending up on a cable network reality show…  Yep, I don’t think I’ll end up on American Idol or Survivor…maybe Biggest Loser but I would probably be the girl who plays the game who everyone “hates” because she’s not the “nice” girl and they would want to kick me off because I ate the donut so I could win a veto (or something) and because I like donuts and they are all crazy from their sugar withdrawals and secretly wish they had eaten the donut.

5. I am always afraid a kid will walk out my front door without me knowing it and I become frantic looking for them.   This actually happened recently, NOT with The Boy.  It’s a long story and one day when we are no longer a foster home, I will tell you about it.  Having had it actually happen has not caused the fear to dissipate.

Okay….that’s all I can think of for now….I am pretty sure, I need to stop watching reality tv.  Good thing tomorrow is a playdate, day.  Since I am commenting on reality tv, I hope that I never run into that crazy Mormon guy from “Sister Wives” or any of the wives for that matter….I will snap and slap someone.   Seriously, someone needs to slap some sense into these people.  They are so whiny about leaving Utah because they are under investigation for whatever they call their situation, plural marriage (???).  They broke the law, made  reality show about it and then they are whiny?  Who is paying for the 4 houses in Vegas and I guess plural marriages are allowed in Nevada.  Good grief.  I’m not even going to go into how Janelle really does not like the husband (what is his name??) any more and could care less if he spends the night at her house….now I’ve digressed.  No more reality tv.  BTW, we get our new TIVO next week.

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