One of my sister’s claims that her and her immediate family talk a lot about boogers. The other sister has said her family talks a lot about farting (or as they say “popping”). I think we may be the poop family. I don’t want to be the poop family. I don’t really like talking about poop ever, but this crazy stuff keeps happening to me.
Yesterday I had HUGE Mama-drama….which fortunately for all my family and friends, played out on Facebook. We were having friends over for dinner so I was cleaning everything including the kids. I put the 3 1/2 year old in the tub. He doesn’t stand in the tub, he doesn’t splash a lot, he just plays quietly with his toys. Seriously, I have family members who tell me that I am so, so lucky that my boy isn’t hyperactive or mischievous. Now that he is talking, he talks non-stop.
So I am running around in the general vicinity of his bathroom. Throwing laundry in the washer, tidying up. I had checked on him several times. Then it got kind of quiet (did I mention he talks a LOT!) and I heard the tub water sloshing around. So I peeked in to tell him not to splash the water out of the tub and the water looked….what I can only describe as murky. It took me a few minutes to identify what was going on. He knew it was wrong.
The sloshing was him trying to “hide” the poop. Unfortunately, like most boys, he poops like a man (not that I know a whole lot about that…before children I liked to pretend no one poops. It was something to be done privately, at home, with lots of air freshener). There was a huge log (I’m kind of gagging writing about this now) along with all these floaties as well as several smeared spots where the dissolving (sloshing) effort failed miserably.
He finished his bath with a shower while I tired to drain off the smaller pieces. Unfortunately, this only caused a steaming effect that burned the nose and eyes and caused more gagging.
I did managed to pick up the large log with toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. I tried spraying the poop out which did not work on the smeared poop at all. Then I tried soaking it with bleach. I used almost a whole bottle of bleach on this project. That didn’t work either. I finally accepted the fact that the smeared on poop would have to be scrubbed. So I grabbed some Lysol toilet bowl cleaner and my toilet brush and got to work. After the poop was rinsed out, I did soak all the bathtub toys in the tub with bleach. After all this work, I took a bath in my bathroom in my bathtub. I am not sure when I will be able to step foot in that bathtub again.
After all of this, I want to have a chat with the perpetrator of this crime against me, my schedule and my bathtub. I asked him why he did it…he doesn’t understand “Why?”, “How?” and “When?” yet. So really that was pointless. I did ask him to apologize for what he did and then we began our “I poop-poop in the potty” mantra that some might consider torture because we have said this so man times over the past few months.
When it happened, I realized cleaning it up wasn’t going to be as simple to clean up as I thought, I posted the question “How do you clean poop out of the bathtub?” I think my parents had the biggest laugh (completely at my expense), especially, my mom. Thus, fortunately for my friends and family it played out on Facebook…seriously, I had like 20 comments most of them were, “You’re funny” or “You make me laugh”.
I need to hire a nanny. Anyone interested?
I am happy to say, today is better…only poop in diapers today.