I do not know a Christian woman out there who isn’t familiar with Proverbs 31. The chapter about “the Virtuous Woman”. For years I struggled with the question, “How can I be all of these things??”
She cooks, she sews, she’s crafty, she makes investments (sells land), she manages a household, she decorates her house, she is good all the time, she is kind, she wears cool clothes…the list goes on and on.
The truth is Proverbs 31 describes a lifetime. People have taught on it and preached on it and expelled on it as if it was one day in this woman’s life. I propose that all that she did was over a lifetime and not a picture of her day.
What caught my attention today was verse 28, which is “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her”
A few days ago, one of my friends who is the mother of five told me that at some point she told her kids, “Do you want to be the kids everyone says, ‘Oh no here they come?'”. She felt they were old enough to be aware that there are kids that others dread to be around. You know you have some friends who have kids that you think, “Oh, no, here they come.” I love for the The Boy to have friends over to play and I fully expect they will drag out every toy in the house…but guess who gets invited back? The kids who do not tear down the walls, the ones who help clean up and the ones who don’t talk back to me. Unfortunately, we all have a friend or two who has “those kids”.
I think that it is more difficult when they are five years old and under because you are still teaching them how to behave properly. You may have to bring modifications to behavior after five but for the most part you teach them when they are young how you want them to behave. For my family, we don’t jump on the bed any home or at anyone else’s house. Pretty much how we act at home is how we act in public. I don’t allow jumping on the furniture either…it’s not a jungle gym. And one day, my son will eat with kings and presidents and he will not put his elbows on the table or lay on the table or bring toys to the table. I think that was a rabbit trail.
I had coffee with another friend today and I was telling her that I love to pick her “mom” brain about things. It’s true. She is the mom of four and and they are all in their teens…I think the youngest maybe eleven or twelve. The things is, they are really good kids. They are always respectful, friendly, nice to everyone, they are always helpful….they are great kids.
I am sure that her “children rise up and call her blessed”. If they aren’t to that place yet, they are still rising up and calling her blessed by their behavior; by who they are.
Okay, I do have a pet peeve when it comes to children and teens. Here is it is…and if my child behaves this way, someone please tell me…a child who does not respect the authority of adults. If I ask you to stop doing something, please stop. If I ask you for something, please help me out…and with a good attitude, not like I am a pain in your bottom.
I love when a kid asks if I want to sit down when I walk into a room and there are no more seats. I am old fashioned…I think that when there is an elderly person or a lady around, then kids should sit on the floor or stand…especially if there is an elderly lady. (I am not putting myself in the “elderly lady” category just yet). I know kids don’t always notice and that’s okay.
I also have a weird thing about people giving my kid (who is younger) food without asking me. Most moms are saying…”Right!!” but a few are saying “Why?” Because, I have a slow eater and if he’s hungry he does much better on his meals and if you give him candy or a snack 7 minutes before we head out to eat lunch, he isn’t going to be very hungry and I’m going to have to remind him 21 times to eat his lunch. Broccoli is more important than candy and anyone can wait 7 minutes to eat. Besides which, you should be very careful about giving kids food….you have no idea what they are allergic to or have food intolerance too. If you want to give them something give it to them in front of their mom and let her decide when they can eat it…or better yet, ask mom if would be okay to give it to them. I have friends with kids who have allergies and it was really hard for them to take food away from them when they were very young. Explain to a two year old “You will die if you eat this”…that is fit throwing season and most moms try to avoid doing things that trigger fits…like ripping a cookie from a child’s hand.
So back to my friends, both families have phenomenal kids. One Sunday, they gave the boy food after Sunday School and I asked them not to again and explained that we were going to get lunch and from them on, every one of them has asked me before giving food or candy to the boy. I appreciate that they respect my wishes. And they are a polite about it.
I propose today that these moms (and their dads had a lot to do with it too) have children who are rising up and calling them blessed by being a blessing to those around them.
Believe me, I do want to pick their brains and know what they are doing that has produced such great kids. Our boy is a great kid too! Children should be a blessing to be around. I know we still have far to go too.
When people compliment your kids, know that your children may not be blessing you with their words (yet) but they are with their actions.