Sick of being…well, Sick


Alright, many friends have sent me messages asking about what’s going on.  I’ve been down for the count…sort of.  Here’s the thing, I am not good at being “sick”.

Oh, the back story for all of my readers who aren’t my “Facebook” friends.   The Hubs and I have been hoping to get pregnant.  We haven’t been going in for in vitro or anything, just basic stuff like, I’ve been tracking my ovulation and things like that.  Without going into all the details, the one thing I haven’t been good about is going in for my check ups because I HATE, HATE, HATE going to the doctor, especially my “lady doctor” as we southern women like to call our OBGYN.  Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my “lady doctor”…SHE is wonderful.  But I like to see her as infrequently as possible.  I had some “lady issues” back in October so I scheduled and appointment in November and then she found some abnormal cells that required a biopsy in December which lead her to recommend a surgery which I put off until I had some really, really bad issues in January. See the pattern of my procrastination?

She also recommended a supplement for me to take to balance out some out of balance hormone levels that she found back in November.  Which I just started taking.  Still procrastinating.

Keep in mind…I’m getting a little “older” as far as pregnancy go so I really don’t have time to procrastinate.

Because of what was going on, in addition to the original surgery my doctor recommended she also did a DNC.  The same procedure that I had done a few years ago when I had a miscarriage.

Even though I knew what I was getting into, I was a little stressed.  Something about them putting me under that I’m not excited about.

I’ve been recovering.  I don’t “bounce back” the way I used to.  I’m not a good sick person.

What I mean by that is, some people maybe get sick and they stay in bed and pray more and become very spiritual and they read books, even their Bible….I lay in bed and watch bad tv and/or movies.

On top of it, the Hub’s dad was admitted to the hospital into the ICU for a heart condition so the Hubs took off the night after I had surgery to be with his dad.  I was sleeping alone  on narcotics…mostly I wasn’t sleeping. I ended up sleeping with the TV on for 3 nights.

Basically, I don’t feel good and I’m watching Law and Order (TNT had a marathon).

One thing I don’t “feel” right now is tuned into God.

Our boy has been ready to get out of the house.  We did get out one day to drive through Whataburger (Being from Texas, we naturally pronounce that “waterburger”)  because was craving steak fingers…BTW, Whataburger doesn’t have steak fingers, Dairy Queen does but it was too late.  By Wednesday, he was so bored.  I had my niece come over and our plan was to go to the library.

Unfortunately,  after a few days on strong medication, I found myself with that “bladder infection” feeling.  I really would not be a good drug addict…I couldn’t tolerate the side effects and I hate taking medication.  I searched my house, high and low for some cranberry pills but couldn’t find any.

Going to the library turned into lunch (me sitting in Chic-fil-a chatting with my friend Margarita while the kids played) and a $39 trip to Target.  When did cranberry pills start costing $39?  When they included some pasta, valentines day cards for the boy, a card for the Hubs (don’t tell him…he doesn’t read my blog very often), etc.  If it wasn’t for the Hubs, I would completely ignore Valentines but he likes romantic stuff…he is winning me over with all of that, I just think it’s over priced.  In any case, I started experiencing pain while walking around Target and decided I should really just get home and get some rest.

I have been reminded that we never know how people are feeling…they may be walking around Target in some real pain.  There are people who live with constant pain in their bodies.  That person that I am irritated with because they are walking so slowly through the parking lot while I’m trying to get home…they may be walking slow because they just had surgery.  To be honest…I’m pretty self absorbed most of the time.

I am ready to be healed and whole and running marathons (if you ever see me running, you should run too because I DO NOT RUN, ever).

I can’t help but think that if this all feels so uncomfortable and being pregnant will be a 9 month process….it’s going to be fun.  Yes, I want to be pregnant.  I want the experience of it even if it isn’t the most pleasant.  (Hello, how else can we guilt our kids later on??  “I carried you for 9 months….”)

Tomorrow I get to go see the doctor I love for the appointment I hate going to…more fun!

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.    James 1:2-4

This I know for sure, God works all things out for my good.




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