Trust ME


This is a Word for a friend.  Someone needs to hear this today.

Last year, life went crazy and a little sideways.  It’s a long story.  Nothing was as it seemed. Everything seemed swirly.

Thankfully God allowed the “crazy” to happen at the perfect time.  I was backed into a corner.  I could not react the way I wanted to…God knew.

At the time I prayed and I told God, “I cannot trust this person.”

We have all had situations come up when we cannot trust the people closest to us.  When trust is broken…it devastates.

In that moment, when I felt I hadn’t been hearing from God; in that moment when I felt my emotions were overwhelming His voice I heard, “You don’t have to.”  Relief flooded me.  I don’t have to trust this person…a weight lifted.  Then God said, “Trust ME.”

Like I have so many times in my life, I trusted Him.  I knew that I could believe what He said to me.  He is a good Father.  His plans are good.  I can trust Him.

There will always be times in our lives when people fail us.  Sometimes they are failing us for the first time but sometimes they are failing us for the fourth time.  You don’t have to trust them, but trust Him.

When He says, “I have a plan.”  You can trust Him.  When He says, “I know how much this hurts.”  You can trust Him.  When He says, “You are going to make it through this.” You can trust Him.  He keeps His words.  He always does.  So when He says, “Trust Me”  You can trust Him.  He LOVES you.  He LOVES your children even more than you do.  He is for you and not against you.  He is for your relationships, your marriage, your parenting, your ministry…He is for you.

When you cannot trust anyone else, trust Him.




Big Bertha


Sometimes healing comes in weird way ways, at strange times and through the most obscure ways.

When I was growing up things weren’t as politically correct as they are today.  We used to play “Old Maid”.  It’s a kids card game and every card has a pair except the “Old Maid”.  That particular deck had a bunch of matching cards like, “Slim Jim” (featuring a skinny guy) and a fat lady named, “Big Bertha”.   Just to be clear, I was not a fat child.  I was pretty average.  I was active and healthy.  My three cousins, who (as you will see from this story) I counted as brothers loved to torment me by calling me fat.  Of course,  it really bothered this 8 year old girl.  They were merciless, like brothers can be.  Once they realized that I didn’t like being called “fat”, they found new and creative ways to call me “fat”.  Since we had all played the Old Maid game, they started calling me “Big Bertha”.   I hate to admit it but at times, this would bring me to tears.

Our family had a saying, “Boys will be boys”.  That was often the answer I would hear when I would tell on them for tormenting me.  That doesn’t fly with me.  Boys being boys at our house is getting dirty, wrestling, and going fast…not being mean to others.

I love my cousins…they are still my brothers.  When I was in my early 20s, I was a size 4 (I worked pretty hard to get to that point) and I realized I wasn’t a “Big Bertha” any more (I never really was but kids will believe anything).

Lance Wallnau has been hosting prayer every night. It is a great concept, he goes live on Periscope and Facebook and hosts prayer.  About 2000 people have been joining nightly for prayer.  If you “like” Lance Wallnau on Facebook you be alerted when he is live.  You can also watch past videos (Last Thursday, December 3rd, was powerful).  Mr. Wallnau is kind of loud man who is passionate about praying for politics, the nations, etc.  One night he was being very loud.  He said, “Some of you are very loud and it’s because God has given you a militant voice”.  He said a few other things.  He talked about being in military school and how they were taught to use a loud voice when responding to their commander and how we should be responding in a loud voice.  I’ve never had a problem being loud.

All of this reminded me….

You might remember be posting about going to the University of Texas game a few months ago.  We had such an enjoyable time.  While we were there, God spoke to me…what a weird place to hear from God.  The band took the field and they have an enormous drum.  The announcer said, “Big Bertha is coming onto the field.”  That’s right.  UT’s giant drum is named, “Big Bertha”.  Of course, I was immediately brought back to being called “Big Bertha”.  And then it happened.  I hear God’s voice as clear as day say, “You are my drum.  You set a beat to march to.” Drums are loud, by design.   Leave to God to take something that was negative and turn it into something powerful.

What my cousins meant to tease me with; what took root as “you are fat and will probably always be fat”;  what I had verbally denied because I didn’t want to be that person, God turned into something positive.   That was a healing moment.

This season can bring up many emotions.  For some people the sights, sounds and smells can bring back the negative. LISTEN! Pay attention!  God wants to speak to you.   God will speak when you aren’t expecting it; at unlikely times, in unlikely places.  



If you are a follower of my blog you know that I have a passion for the fatherless…both spiritual and physical.  Yes, there are spiritual orphans and spiritual step-sons out there.  You can read about Spiritual step-sons here.  Here is a blog about spiritual orphans.

When I read this blog, What is Your Love Lid?,  by Kris Vallatton it resonated with me.   Naturally, I wanted to share it with you.

When I read it, what resonated with me is often the person who has trouble receiving from others is a person who hasn’t yet recognized who their Dad is.  When your Dad is the King, you learn to graciously receive.  It’s part of being a thankful son.  It’s not a matter of anyone owing you, it’s just a matter of knowing that He is a “Good, Good Father.”  It’s who he is (to quote one of my favorite songs lately).


Best Ever


When the Hubs and I were dating, way back when, we were both broke.  Many of our dates included walking in the park and drinking coffee or watching CSI (the original one…not all those knockoffs).

When we were first married, we would sometimes drive into Austin in the middle of the night to go to Kerbey Lane.  Our “big night out” usually consisted of dinner and a movie.

Then we started fostering and getting a sitter with foster children is like getting teeth pulled.

We often do family dates but getting to go out on dates, just the two of us has been a juggling act.

Lately, it seems that God has been setting us up on some very nice dates.  And they have been FREE.


Last month, we found out that the Cheesecake Factory was doing their “soft opening” at Barton Creek Mall.  In order to train their staff, they offered a free meal for those who made reservations.  The Hubs made reservations.  We had a lovely night out with a three course meal was wonderful.  We tipped our wait staff of course but the $148 bill (we doubled with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) was completely free.

This past weekend, the Hubs won tickets to the Texas Longhorn game.  These were just free tickets, they were through the Texas Club which means…great food (fajitas, gourmet sandwiches, roast beef, fondue, etc), air conditioned club level and then great seats in the end zone.  I seriously felt so spoiled.  I would love to attend every game, if I could attend like this…but the tickets alone are $600+ a seat plus yearly donations.  What a great date though.  The only cost we incurred was parking.

ut game1 ut game2

And more importantly, it was a great game.  My Longhorns lost in the last few minutes by one point.  While I hate that they lost (Lord, bless that kicker) the game was fun to watch and our guys played pretty well.  I’m super impressed with our QB.  (Sorry for all the football talk….for Texas girls it is required that we learn about football).  This is also a good indication of how God has worked in my life in the past few years.  I gave up football for quiet a while as I was getting very emotional (read angry) about it.  Don’t get me wrong…I do not know enough to play fantasy football with the boys but at one time I knew my teams.  Being a true Austinite (born and raised) my first love (when it comes to football) is college ball, specifically the Texas Longhorns.  When I lived in Alabama, I rooted for University of Alabama (Roll Tide) but it was never the passion I felt for my Longhorns.  Hook’em.]

Extra bonus…Matthew McConaughey was at the game…we got a few glimpses of him in his box seats that were on the same level as our club level seating.

ut game3

The score was 38 to 45. If UT got at touch down and field goal the score would be tied.

Interestingly, I am sooo very thankful and grateful.  While I am in awe, I am waiting with great anticipations to see what setup God has for us next.  Seriously, I wonder how He will top this latest blessing.  Trip to Hawaii?  (I’d be thrilled with a trip to Galveston).  Trip to Colorado?

God is good!

The Latest Boogie Man



Everyone’s talking about it.  We live in Texas and information has come out that ISIS is in Mexico planning car bombings in America.  I have no idea if this information is accurate.

The thing about organizations like ISIS is they play on fear.  They do whatever they can to get on the news.   Fear is NOT of God.

They are just the latest boogie man.  They are the latest Nazis, the latest Al Qaeda, the latest.  I remember in the 80s we were afraid the Chinese were going to be parachuting into the U.S.  (probably watched Red Dawn too many times).

I’m not saying that there isn’t a reason to be concerned…

The first scripture I ever taught to my young son (he was almost 3 year old) was  2 Timothy 1:7, “ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  (we acted it out and everything).  We do not tolerate fear in our house because fear is not from God…it is always demonic.  I’ve had some fearful seasons of my life, especially with fostering and concerns about protecting our babies.  I’ve battled this thing.  Whether it is on a big scale or a little scale, it is not from God!

I believe that news networks perpetuate fear.  Think about it, they have to fill 24 hours a day on these stations…it has to be catching news…the more dramatic the better.  They are by nature sowing fear into the hearts of America.  Turn that crap off and read your Bible.

Remind yourself that our God is BIG!  Magnify Him.  Make Him bigger in your life!  Have some faith man.  I believe God has His hand on America, not because we are good.  We aren’t good.  We sacrifice our unborn, we produce more pornography than any other country probably (I have no idea if these is true…but if we aren’t the ones producing it we are surely the ones consuming it….I have only one things to say…Shades of Gray).  Like everyone else America needs a savior.  We can turn to the One who can save us.  Our God is bigger than Islam.  Jesus is the Lion and the Lamb.  Everyone sees the Lamb but there will come a day when the Lion will roar.

If your are feeling creeped out by ISIS just sing this song….

And pray. 

I love this song because it is simple and it sticks with you.

There are no boogie men out there who can take on our God.  All we have to do is turn back to Him.

And those are my thoughts about ISIS.


Safe vs. Good


As we step out of a place that has been very safe for us I have had this in my head…a quote from Narnia (C.S. Lewis’ classic book).

Lucy:  “I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”

“That you will, dearie, and no mistake” said Mrs Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.

Of course Aslan represents Jesus.  Is Jesus safe?  Of course He isn’t safe.  But He’s good.  He’s the King, I tell you.

There are seasons in our life when we need “safe” but most of the time God’s heart for us is not that we feel safe but that we know His goodness.

Several of our friends who are transitioning to plant City Chapel at Slaughter Creek are giving up their jobs, the positions they have held in at their church(es) for many years, paid positions as staff pastors.  They are walking out of a job into nothing right now.  No back up plan…just,” God told us to plant a church”.  While that is scary as hell for a man with a family it is also just the opportunity for God to show Himself good; to showoff His goodness.

Psalm 23 says, “goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”.  It’s time for goodness and mercy to overtake some folks.

I often say, “everyone wants to see God’s miracles but no one wants to be in the position to need a miracle.”  Think about it.  We want to see God heal but no one wants to be sick.  We would like to see an amputee regrow a limb but no one wants to lose an arm.  We want to see a financial miracle but no one wants to lose a job.  We want to see cancer healed but no one wants to have cancer and no wants anyone in their family to have cancer.  We want all the good with none of the risk.

God’s Kingdom isn’t safe.

I’ve often heard…and I believe Ruthanne Garlock said this at the prayer retreat, “God is more interested in your character than your comfort.”  I think of it like this…God is more interested in you learning to trust Him, believe in Him, believe in His goodness than He is in your comfort.”

Do you believe in the best things about God when you are at your lowest point?  

There was a time when I quit a very nice (say “safe”) job in Texas and moved to Alabama (say “no job”) because God told me to.  The first year was…let’s say “not great”.  My electricity got turned off and I had credit card companies calling me.  Some days the only people I talked to (because I had no friends) were the credit card people (Yes, I’ve discovered Dave Ramsey).  I was working at a temp job while praying for a real job in my field. You see, I was a system analyst who worked on computers but Mobile, Alabama isn’t exactly a techie mecca.   I continued to pay my tithes.  I got my check, paid my tithes and paid the rest of the money to the electric bill but the electric company wouldn’t turn it back on because it wasn’t the full amount owed.  It would take another week for me to get the money to get the electric turned on.  I laid on the floor in my semi-dark apartment (early evening) and cried out to God (say “threw a tantrum on the floor”).  I asked God, “Did you bring me out here to die?”  and He said, “Yes.  Some things have to die.”  Not exactly what I wanted to hear.  What did it grow in me?  Two things.  1. I am so sympathetic to people who have had their electricity turned off.  They can come shower at my house.  2. I do not give them money to have their electric turned back on because I don’t want to interfere with what God is doing in their lives.  Through all of that…I learned to trust in Jesus.  (Yes, those are song lyrics to a Andrew Crouch song…it’s old school but rings true).   BTW. a few DAYS later I found out I got a job as a software trainer and God turned things around for me.  To this day, I know He did it and not me.  And several years ago, just a week or so before Christmas,  my boss walked in and said, “The bank called in our loan so don’t come to work next week, we cannot pay you.”.  We didn’t worry.  I prayed and I told the Hubs, “God’s got this”.  And He did.  The Hubs got a raise, I didn’t have to work and a few months later, God sent our boy and I was able to stay home with him.  Because goodness and mercy follow me and over take me.

Following God is not safe but it is very good; the ultimate adventure!

Listen for His voice, step out of your safety zone and see what goodness follows.

Feeling Stuck?


We have had some years of “feeling stuck”.  

Several years ago, God gave me this scripture as a “family scripture”.

Those from among you
Shall build the old waste places;
You shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,
The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In. -Isaiah 58:11

Basically, I felt God tell me that we will build a foundation for generations…we get to help people establish a firm foundation in Christ Jesus.  And that we will get to help repair breaches and even safety to the streets.  God reminded me of this, this past weekend at the prayer retreat.

It was in a moment of grief.

On the way to the retreat, I adopted a young lady (yes, I adopt people…I adopt kids, dogs-although I am trying really hard to turn that into a foster situation- and people of all ages) on the bus.  It’s funny but she was sitting next to me and she was carrying a purse that I also own (I knew she had good taste).  She was brave (signing up for a retreat where she didn’t know anyone – I would TOTALLY do that).  Turns out she is a young mother of two boys 3 and under.  And she was so hungry to learn about prayer.

As the retreat started, they mentioned that there were about 180 women in attendance.  As I looked around I would estimate that 2/3 of them were 50 and older.  I love older people!  They are rooted and grounded.  They are solid.  I met Ruth and Irma and wanted to hang out with them and hear their testimonies.  Miss Ruth started speaking to me in Spanish (I’m not even a good “Tex-Mex” Spanish speaker), I had said, “No habla espanol.”  I loved these two ladies, we ate several meals with them and had a chance to pray with them.

Our little group of five…it was four, one of my sisters, Judy, Candace (who I have written about) and Jennifer (my friend who is leaving next month to become a missionary to Macedonia)  but I made everyone adopt my bus buddy so we were five.  We are in our 30s…except for my 25 year old bus buddy and myself.  I’m 29.  haha.  No comments on that please.  Mom, Dad, I’m talking to you.

There may have been 10 women under the age of 30 and one looked forced to attend and two were leading worship.  

I was praying and asking God, where are the young, praying women?

Let me backtrack a little.  Several weeks ago, I started re-reading for the 10th time, Cindy Jacobs’ book, “Possessing the Gates of the Enemy”.  There are study questions at the end of each chapter but after reading chapter 1 the only question ringing in my spirit was, “How do we convert worshipers into intercessors?”  Why?  Because the next generations heading our way are great worshipers.  They have a passion to praise Him.  They love music and the arts.  However there are few intercessors.  There are people who will pray for themselves but who is standing in the gap for someone else?

Reminds me of Ezekiel 22

29 The people of the land have used oppressions, committed robbery, and mistreated the poor and needy; and they wrongfully oppress the stranger. 30 So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.

I love the worship that is coming out these days but where are the pray-ers? 

Back to the prayer retreat…

The woman who spoke at the Prayer retreat is a pioneer and giant of the faith.  Her name is Ruthanne Garlock and she is in the DNA of a little place called, “Christ for the Nations”.  She has written a series of books on Prayer.  She has missions in her blood and has written so many books on prayer and spiritual warfare.  And she is a grandmother of the faith.  I admire her greatly and pray that when I am “old” that I will continue to burn with a consuming fire of faith.  She didn’t mince words.  She didn’t sugar coat things. She was funny.  She was insightful and she is a full on woman of God.  

I’m pretty sure one reason the generations coming up aren’t interceding is because there is no respect or places of honor for our elders.  That’s another post.

Back to the word.  

God reminded me that we are called to lay foundations for many generations.  I could not remember where the scripture was found.  I was turning that over in my mind itching to look it up.  Incidentally, we had no service on our cell phones at the retreat center (some people did but mine was nil).  I had limited access to my Bible app and the search features on it are not great.  Normally, I used but again, no service on my phone meant no internet.  It’s good to disconnect.   I had to go old school and use my concordance.  Thankfully, I took my Thompson Bible that has a concordance.  After giggling with my girls and being asked to break our “prayer meeting” (someone used some sarcasm on us), I was laying in bed looking the scripture up by FLASHLIGHT!  We sure where roughing it.

 I found the scripture in Isaiah 58 which most people know as “the fasting chapter”.  As is my custom, I like to read the context of a scripture (lots of things have gotten confused when reading out of context). As I scan up, I find some If yous. That means…”If you” do this then.  

And here is the nugget.

Isaiah 58:9, “If you take away the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness….”

Immediately, I felt two things…First thing is we have to seek freedom.  We have to seek to remove the yoke from our necks; active participation.  The Second thing (because as you have witnessed in this post, I’m a question ask-er) I asked, “What is the yoke?”  While each person struggles with different things, I felt clearly that the yoke the church is facing today is yoke of religion.  We have replaced Jesus with a form of godliness…Paul described it in 2 Timothy 3 as “having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof”.  We profess Jesus Christ but do not believe/have faith in His power.  He’s just a guy from a long time ago who died and maybe rose again and said some cool stuff…it’s not enough.  We have to forget religion.  There is NO POWER in religion.  There is power is Jesus; He is LOVE, He is WORD, He was flesh and dwelt among us.   

If you have been feeling stuck, it’s time to take off your yoke, get FREE, stop pointing fingers at everyone else, deal with your stuff, speak life and start to live in ALL the promises of God!!!