Hey y’all. I have been wondering about all my readers. All 7 of y’all. I have had thousands over the years but everyone has started watching videos instead of writing.

I have made a few videos myself…in between fussing at my kids to do their school work.

We are in a crazy season. Waves upon waves of fear have been released. Perfect loves cast out fear. It’s time to ride the waves of the love of Jesus! Those are the waves we are designed for….

How did we get here?


Not too long ago, I had many faithful subscribers.  Life got busy (super busy….I got a job…accidently got a job. It has been a God-send and it fell into my lap).  Because of this, I haven’t been writing, at all unless you count salesforce reporting.

I have setup a YouTube channel with some video posts of thought.  Click here to check those out.

Most of my writing is me meandering though a topic and trying not to be preachy.  Haha. Or it’s about my amazing kids. This is more on the path of meandering thoughts.

I’m not sure when it happened.  I think most long-time Christians will understand and follow this.  Somewhere, while I was teaching kids, working on church stuff, serving in my community…Christianity became something so different than what it has been in the past.  I know with my mind that as God brings things into balance.

True Christianity isn’t about what we “do” but about who we are…in Christ.  Christianity is not about ritual it is about relationship with Jesus.  For years, we have focused on our works instead of God’s goodness.  Our works do not redeem us. Only Jesus can save and redeem us.

As with so many things in God’s kingdom as come into balance, the pendulum that swung so far out of balance must swing back in the other direction in order to come back to balance.

In this instance, balance is understanding and living in the place between having that intimate relationship with God and doing the things that reflect that relationship. 

In past, we had to look and act a certain way in order to be accepted in Christian community to the detriment of truth. In the 80s there was a saying, “Fake it, til you make it” or “Dress for the job you want” (both of these were said in regard to success).  The church’s take on this was to look righteous even if you weren’t living righteous.  But “faking it” doesn’t work with God because He knows our inward parts, He knit them together.  (Psalm 139)

In the last 50 years there has been a move toward spirituality.  In the last 10 years or so the church has embraced a move toward the love of Christ to the extreme of nothing being required of us.  We were saved unto good works.  James 2 says if faith doesn’t have works it is dead.  We show our faith by our works.  The pendulum has swung and we have gone from fakery to no outward display of faith….everyone has faith but there is outward indicators.

One of my friends was sharing (on Facebook) about this train wreck of a show on Netflix called “Love is Blind” (I think that’s the name).   Netflix and Amazon video are kind of the devil…they show everything unfit for broadcast television.  There are no filters any more.  (I started watching Designated Survivor when it came out and it was pretty good…then Netflix started making it and every other word f*&*…I had to stop watching.  It’s a bummer).  The premise of the show is you go on all these “faux” dates where you need see the person until they ask you to marry them, you get to see each other, then you meet each other’s families, move in together and get married within a month or something.  It’s a train wreck and like most wrecks, it’s hard NOT to watch.

I watched about two episodes.  One thing caught my attention.  A young woman reveals (and why is it as singles we have to “reveal” our faith? Pretty good indicator that all I’m writing is accurate) that she is a Christian.  The young man she is talking to, says “F*&$ yes, I’m a Christian too.  I have a tattoo on my stomach that says ‘Psalm 19:14’.”

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.    Psalm 19:14


I know sometimes I do and say things that aren’t acceptable in God’s sight…I know this because the Bible outlines what is good and acceptable.  We do not have to be like the world to win them.  The goodness of God draws people in.  When we lift Jesus up, He draws all men unto Him.

We don’t have to relate to the world in that way to win the world.

We do have to passionately pursue God in every area of our lives.

I do not have any tattoos of scriptures or crosses or anything.  That doesn’t mean I’m not a believer. I also don’t have to “reveal” my faith to new people.  This doesn’t make me better probably means I’m getting old and I don’t care what people think.  I’m going to be “me”. and if you don’t like it, that’s okay.

My hope is, that you will know that I believe by the Holy Spirit that I carry.  That I accept that you are on your journey and that God has a plan for you.  I don’t condemn your use of inappropriate language or inappropriate/crude talk.  (If you do it in front of my kids, I will say speak up because that’s not okay with me).  I hope that my love speaks loudest and that my works follow the love I carry.

Freedom doesn’t mean anything goes. Freedom means, you can be who God says you are.   Having a standard that you live by isn’t confining…it’s freeing.

Earlier the Psalm 19 passage it says it this way (Passion translation):

Every one of the Lord’s commands is right; following them brings cheer.  Nothing He says ever needs to be changed.  The rarest treasures of life are found in His truth.  That is why I prize God’s word like others prize the finest gold.  Nothing brings the soul such sweetness as seeking His living words. (9-10)

God’s standards of living bring sweetness in our soul.  Isn’t that what we all want; What we are all seeking…sweetness in our soul? It’s kind of a trick, we seek the sweetness, the peace, the love and the answer is Jesus. He’s all of those things and once His Spirit infiltrates us, we enjoy the sweetness.

Seek His word for the standards you should live by.  Seek Him about it.  If there is anything you are having trouble following…ask Him about it.  His ways are easy and His burdens are lite.  If something is hard or troubling, seek healing in that area.  God is good…more than anything He wants to show you; reveal to you the depth of His goodness.

How do You Trust Him?


Life has entered turbo speed with kids in school and church planting and working…haven’t written as much as I have wanted to.

This past week, I was driving over to Abilene (about 2 hours away from us) and as is my habit, I was listening to podcasts on my way.  I follow Shawn Bolz’s podcast and I have listened to every one.  Basically, he interviews inspiring people asking them about their “God journey”.  Every episode is inspirational.  This particular episode was with Harmony “Dust” Grillo.  Click here to listen.

Let me start this by sharing a little of a testimony.  Many moons ago, I met a girl (we eventually became friends) through my sisters who was a stripper.  She attended high school with my sisters. This is a few years after we all graduated high school.  I’m not clear on the details of how she came to our church.  I think she was hanging out with some church guys (they were not yet men but they should have been…seems to be the way things go these days) who weren’t really on a Christian journey at that time but they all grew up attending church and were close friends.  Again, I am not sure about all the details but it was shady.  Yes, I said it.  They were going places and doing things they shouldn’t have been doing.  She came to church and as we are prone to do,  the sisters adopted her and tried to “fix” her.  We loved her (our heart was in the right place). I still love this woman.  She is smart, funny, charismatic…someone I like hanging out with.  At that time, we knew about deliverance but we knew very little about inner healing.  In hindsight, God had been walking me through so much inner healing but I didn’t have the tools to make it simple for others.  My answer was simple, “pray more, pray often, pray harder”.  God does answer prayer so it’s isn’t a bad method it just doesn’t work with that well with unchurched people because they do not understand what that means. After a few months, we told our friend she had to stop stripping and get rid of all her stripper stuff and start dressing more appropriately, etc…all the “church girl” answers.  She did what we suggested.  She tried.  She got baptized.  She attended church regularly and hung out with us.  She was involved.  I’m not sure it stuck.  I am still in touch with her but I’m not sure if she attends church.  I always want to know why the “God relationship” sticks for some people and not for others.  If I am involved in helping others, I want to know “how I can help others in a better way in the future?”.

Back to Ms. Grillo’s story.  She has a background as a stripper and “call girl” (I haven’t read her book and I may be using these terms loosely).  I do not want to tell her whole story because you should listen tot the podcast. How she came to the Lord is funny and sweet.  She wanted to get a boob job.  She was scheduled to get new, bigger boobies.  One of her coworkers (also a stripper) told her not to do it.  The co-worker told her that she got them, attended a ballet class, felt ridiculous and had them removed.  She canceled her boob job and joined a ballet class.  This woman had been molested and used by men her entire life…she didn’t go into details but ran away from home at age 13 because her mom’s boyfriend was molesting her.  At the ballet class, she met a young Christian woman who became her friend.  The young lady did invite her to church but the friendship was never contingent on her attending church.  She started attending church on Sundays….even changed her stripper schedule to be off on Sundays.  BUT SHE DIDN’T STOP STRIPPING.  The church welcomed her and loved her on her JOURNEY.  She said she actually began practicing abstinence while she was still stripping.  Eventually, she describes a moment of walking into work and feeling naked for the first time (the Holy Spirit).

As a pastor, I want to reach these desperate women who have fallen into a lifestyle that is killing their souls.  I want to reach people who have lost all their self-value.

I know in this scenery, I’m the church girl. They probably believe I have no way of relating to their lives.  We all lose sight of our value at times.  I may not have fallen into the sex industry….but for the grace of God.

Shawn Bolz added to the conversation describing some ministry he did when he and his friends went to the streets and how he met some high school friends walking the streets.

Both of them talked about letting people go on their journey with God.

I wondered about my friend.  Did I love her well? Did she know God’s love through us? Did she understand how much God loves her and how He wants to be known by her?  Does she know?

The thought crossed my mind….wow, we really have to trust God to be the Holy Spirit to these people.  We have to trust that God is working even when we do not see with our eyes what is going on.  We have to TRUST HIM.

Here’s the shortage.  It’s hard to TRUST HIM with others when we are not TRUSTING HIM in our own journeys. We have to TRUST HIM with our spiritual walk; with our finances; with our kids; with our marriage; with our situations….

Our lack  of trust in winning people who are far from God is an indicator of where our trust level is in our own lives.

If we want to win others, if we want to see the lost saved and changed then we have to increase  in our faith and our trust in God.

TRUST HIM.  He is for you.  Oh, and that friend you think is soooo lost…pray for them, sto trying to control them; pray and trust God.  He’s big enough to handle them and their situation.


Old School


A crazy thing happened this morning.  I went to a coffee shop I frequent (there aren’t many places around here to sit, have a good coffee, free wifi were I can read or write…I come here two times a week).

As I drove in this morning there were more cars than usual.  I recognized a local pastor.  I came here to read a revival book, write a blog on prayer (ezekielregiment.wordpress.com) and drink coffee (of course).  I came inside, picked a little table near a plug but not directly downwind of the air conditional (I rarely get cold but I’ve had to switch seats before).

Today I was writing about praying for spiritual leaders.

The whole church team, sat down at a large table right beside me.  The pastor sat about five feet from where I am sitting.

They seem to be planning some kind of conference.  I hear a worship leader explaining that he’s going “Old school; Very Old School….like songs he grew up on.”  He was seriously under 30 year old.  He’s not thinking, “How Great Thou Art.”  He’s going to be singing “Shout to the Lord” and “I can Sing of Your Love Forever.”  (not that those aren’t “old school” but someone maybe needs to sing “Amazing Grace”).  His reasoning was there are too many new worship songs and no one knows them so they won’t worship to them.  (insert eyeroll….worshipers worship, it’s what we do, if we know the song or not.  And now days we have so much access to new materials that if we don’t know it, we will look it up…rant over.  He doesn’t want to learn the new songs).

I’m not even going to go into the flaws of all of it, except to say, we don’t need another conference….we need a prayer room. 

When it comes to “Old School” whether it is Christian circles or secular what it’s really about is the familiar.  Any time I hear Air Supply, I think of my cousin Trent and listening to Air Supply at his house when I was maybe 13 years old.  We liked Michael Jackson too, through in some George Strait and Lional Richie….we are Texans, we are diverse).

When it comes to “Old School” as it relates to my Christianity, it is more than just looking back.  Those “Old School” songs were so popular for a reason.  They defined the season the church was in at that time.  Matt Redman wrote a song (I believe it was Matt Redman), “Heart of Worship”…lyrics were “I’m coming back to the heart of worship….it’s all about You, Jesus….”  And we had been singing about Jesus for so long but not singing to Him.  That song refocused many of us.

Sometimes “Old School” is a song that got you through…it helped you find your way back to Jesus.  Mercy Me had one, “Bring the Rain”.  That song still moves me…one line, “Bring me anything that brings You glory.”  That has to be some of the most bittersweet words ever written….through being single, miscarriage, through adoption, through it all….I will serve Him in sunshine and rain and if it brings Him glory, then bring it.  That’s a tough prayer. It helped me remeber it’s not about me.

If I look back, way back….there are songs I sing my kids from my childhood. This is “very Old School”…  “Coming down, down down, coming down, down down, the glory of the Lord is coming down.  When the saints begin to pray for the Lord to have His way, the glory of the Lord is coming down.”  What a reminder to me….pray.

The truth about “Old School” when it comes to Jesus is, we aren’t longing for an old song we are longing for an old feeling; the feeling of the Spirit of God upon us.

We want to do “all new” things (seriously, the same worship pastor talking about small groups – or something – says he doesn’t want to see any of the same old group. He wants new ideas and new groups) and get see God move.  I was in my 20s.  I understand dreaming. I thank God for people in their 20s…they have the energy and passion to push us.  Yet, we know as Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 1:9, “…there is nothing new under the sun.”  There is not a completely “new” way of doing something that is going to move us into the glory of God. There is no “new” plan for revival.

If we want an “Old School” experience we cannot sing an “Old Song” to get there…new songs will work fine.  “Reckless Love” moves me every time I hear it.  God is giving us new songs.  If we want an “Old School” experience we have to do an “Old School” thing….PRAY; most of the time we need to do two things, REPENT and PRAY.

If we want to see God move on us, in us and through us, we have to get back to the prayer room.

When I was in my 20s, we prayed.  There was a season of prayer in the 90s that drew us in.  We didn’t learn prayer as a discipline, unfortunately.  Life has disciplined us…things happen drawing us back into prayer.  The subject of our prayers is mostly self-centered.  It’s time to expand those prayer more…praying for our church, praying for our places of employment, our cities, our nation….

Now many of us are looking for God in an old song but He is where we left Him on our knees.

Taste and See


Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

Psalm 34:8

This could almost be a Momlog post because it has been spinning around with me because of a situation/conversation I had with my Boy.

I was picking up some items from a sweet lady, Ms. Dotty.  They were business items as she was closing a bounce house business and we are working on opening one. She was gracious and had set aside some books for the kids as well as a few extra items for us.  The Boy started asking her for things she had not offered.  As we carried some items out to the car, I told him (yes, I told him, it was NOT a suggestion) to stop asking for things. When we went back in, he saw a Playstation (he doesn’t have one) and he said excitedly, “A playstation!!!” (NOT asking for it…what is it with kids and technicalities?) He started “not asking” for a lot of stuff. No, she didn’t give us the playstation.  She had two 11 year olds at home and she was taking it home.

On the way home, I thought about how to explain to him how rude it is to ask people for more than they are willing to give.

As I considered the situation, I thought about why I wouldn’t ask…

Our discussion went something like this… (I did address the “not really asking” thing too)

Me:  Do you know Ms. Dotty has two girls and was taking that gaming system home to them.

B:  Oh.

Me:  Do you think she maybe wanted to give it to you?

B:  Maybe

Me: Do you think she wanted to say “yes, you can have it”?

B:  Maybe

Me:  How do you think she felt having to say “no” to you?

B: Bad  (we have to really delve to have any emotion expressed other than good, bad, or mad)

Me:  She probably did feel negative about it.  She was very generous but by asking her to give something she had other plans, she probably felt sad and that could leave a bad taste in her mouth about us.  No one wants to be around people who do things that cause them to feel bad.  We want to leave people with a good taste, or positive feelings about us.  (I told him about the scripture that says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”

A few days later, we had another discussion about tastes.  This time, he was being willfully disobedient to me in the car and I got very irritated. I may have yelled.

This time the discussion went like this…

Me:  Do you think I have a good taste in my mouth about you right now?

B:  No.

Me:  Do you have a good taste in your mouth about me right now?

B:  Not so much

Me:  This is not the relationship I want us to have with one another.  I want us to leave a good taste with each other.

That’s the thing.  Whether it is with those close to us or strangers we always have the opportunity to leave others with a positive experience or a negative experience.  We all have the opportunity to exercise grace, mercy, kindness or love.

Sure, there will be times when no matter how hard we try someone isn’t going to like us most of the time that is more about their journey than ours.  We can only do what God leads us to do.

There are many times when we leave a good tastes about us, we are leaving a good taste about Him.  That’s what it is really about even with our kids, leaving others wanting to know the God we know…sigh.  That is what I need to work on or perhaps that is where I am being worked on.







Rain Vs. Fire


On Sunday mornings, we try (we really, really try) to get to church early and pray for the service.  Admittedly, I am not an “early” person.  My husband says I have fully embraced the Hispanic culture who are known for “getting there when they get there”.  Two Sundays ago, we were early…we were so early that we couldn’t even check our kids into their classes yet.  That’s fine because when I was growing up, my mom took us to the prayer room with Cindy Jacobs wrote in her book, “Possessing the Gates of the Enemy” (book on intercessory prayer), “Prayer is better caught than taught.”  In other words if you want a more dynamic prayer walk, get around some people who pray well and listen….  I grew up going to prayer the room and I have wanted my kids to be more exposed to prayer (we pray with them and for them daily).

This particular Sunday, I felt so led to pray for spiritual rain.

Zechariah 10:1 says:

Ask the Lord for rain In the time of the latter rain.  The Lord will make flashing clouds; He will give them showers of rain, Grass in the field for everyone.

We live in Texas.  We have had one of the longest, hottest summers I can remember and it’s only June.  The grass was beginning to look like hay (*golden colored) and our ponds and streams were beginning to whither.  In the physical, we needed some rain.  We needed a washing…washing the dust out of the air.  Our parched land needed refreshing.  We needed soaking rains, not hurricane rain (which causes serious flash-flooding here).

I began to pray for spiritual rain.  I found myself praying that God would send refreshing rain that would wash us, soak us and begin to push things out of our lives that are slowing us down and hindering us from God’s will and presences.  That’s the thing about water is it a powerful force.  We do have flash floods here and flowing water can push a truck off the road.

Often in scripture, water represents the Holy Spirit.  It is fitting because the Spirit can bring refreshing.  It pushes things out that do not belong.  It is cleansing. It is powerful.  It can move us into new places.

When the service began, we sang two songs about fire.

Yes, the Word says that God is a consuming fire.  Honestly, I questioned myself a little about the whole rain prayer.  One of the most important aspects of the church is unity and felt out of step with where we were going that day.

Why call down fire when we can have rain?  Fire consumes everything.  EVERYTHING; a purging.  I kept thinking about how physically dry it has been here, how miserable, how hot…we have the conditions for fire or we have the conditions for rain.  Rain brings refreshing.  Rain turns things green.  Both fire and rain can clear everything out but with rain there can be less debris.  On the other hand, ash can fertilize your field.

Sometimes we need fire and sometimes we need rain.

What is your season?  Sometimes, I need rain.  I need the refreshing that comes.  I need a soaking.  Jesus, bring the rain.


The kind of friend I want to be…


A few weeks ago, while spending time with friends, the conversation got gossipy and a little catty..catty towards a church. I participated in the cattiness. (James says “confess your sins one to another and you shall be healed.”…amazing how so many “secular” ideas has Biblical roots, “confession is good for the soul.” I am confessing here.)

The thing is, one of my friends attends that church.

That church was a place of healing for me. I dedicated my kids at that church. I have recommended that church to many people who didn’t want to drive to Austin to go to church. I had some frustration with that church but in general it’s a good church.

(It’s never okay to talk poorly about someone’s church)

For days after, I felt the sweet gnawing of conviction. (I thank God for His Spirit which brings conviction…).

I wished my friend had told me to cut it out. I’m not sure how I would have handled it.

I want to be the kind of friend who can be told, “it’s not cool to talk about my church.” (Or my family, or my friend…etc).

I want to have friends who love me enough to tell me when I am being “uncool”. It’s hard to be that friend. As I thought about it, I realized, I have been in the exact scenario…and I didn’t speak up.

I want to be the kind of friend who loves you enough to call you out. (General announcement here: it’s not okay to talk badly about my church.)

I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better friend; a real friend.

I did apologize to my friend. She forgave me (I think). I hope this leads us to a deeper friendship. That’s the kind of friend I want to be.


Isaiah 59:19

So shall they fear
The name of the Lord from the west,
And His glory from the rising of the sun;
When the enemy comes in like a flood,
The Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.

Graham Cooke said when you see the enemy coming in like a flood in your life, look around to see what God is raising up.

While this thought intrigued me it also lured me in. I started looking into it.

The book of Numbers describes each tribe in the nation of Israel had a banner or a standard that represented their tribe; it identified them. Each tribe camped under that banner; they went to war under that banner.

When the Word says, the Lord is lifting up a banner, He is going to war for you. That alone is powerful.  Or He is creating a place of peace (a place to camp) for you.

There is more there…

My parents came to know the Lord in a more profound way in their early 20s. They joined a Spirit-filled church when I was nine months old. They were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to live their lives for Jesus…well, for Jesus, their church and their pastor. The church had “standards” (translates rules) that were to be lived by. The standards were loosely based on the Bible (some poor interpretations and bad definitions). Basically, there were many “NOs” and very few “YES, do this”. At least from my point of view. For example…no tv, no movies, no short skirts, no makeup, no tattoos, no piercings, no jewelry, no alcohol, no, no, no…. The focus was on following the rules not on following Jesus. Somehow they made it through all of this with their faith in Jesus (they may have lost some faith in others). This is my backstory. A foundation of what was not allowed and fear of breaking those rules as my standard of who God is.

As a parent, I find I am often saying, “No”. I don’t like being the “No” person. (I am almost always the “no” person)  There are some things that are our standard of living. These things are based on identity not on DOs and DON’Ts. We learned in foster care training about establishing family values in a positive way. For example, instead of saying, “We do not lie”, we say, “In our family, we tell the truth.” It became about establishing our identity….we are truth tellers. There is no riding the fence about deception, we tell the truth. If you have a foundation of who you are you live your life accordingly. It’s not about not about “no”, it’s about “this is who I am and that doing this isn’t who I am.”

Webster’s Dictionary has several definition for the word “standard”. On of those definitions is “something established by authority, custom or general consent.” Another definition says, “a rule for the measure of quality, weight, extent, value or quality….the fineness and legally fixed weight of the metal used in coins; the basic value in a monetary system.”

Standards define value.

In our lives, God sets the value system or the standards in which we live by. There are some “DOs” and some “DON’Ts”.

As a kid, we vacationed in Colorado….several times.  We traveled in motor homes and with travel trailers up to the mountains near Durango; we stayed near a little town called Silverton, next to a river.  We are from Texas…in August, we experience hell-like temperatures along with the humidity of central Texas, it’s the pool or staying inside.  That’s when we escaped to Colorado for two or three weeks.  We tried going swimming in that river but the water was cold; that river was a result of the snow melting on the mountains above.  They still had snow up in those mountains.  When we setup camp, we dropped out hoses in river as our water source.  That water was clear, cold and pure.  It tasted like heaven. There was a purity to that water that felt incorruptible.   In order to maintain that water’s purity, we did not dump our waste product in the river.


In America, we enjoy a certain level of expectation when it comes to our water.  As a country we have established standards of purity when it comes to our water. When we turn our faucet on in our home, we expect clear, clean water to flow.  Certainly there are exceptions to this but overall the standards we have set for water systems and enforced by our government have allowed us to live with an expectation of clean water.  There are “DOs” and “DON’Ts” for companies expelling used water; those standards are in place for our protection. There are some things in life that are better pure. Most things are better pure.

Let me throw out an example that almost everyone (especially you all who grew up in church) can relate to. When I was a teenager, the churches approach to sex was “don’t do it, it’s bad.” Many young people ignored this because it’s a lie. We heard rumors that it was super fun. The truth is, sex is great. God created it. He has some standards in regards to sex that protect us from harming our bodies, hearts and spirits. God’s standard is not “don’t do it” God’s standard is “do it, when you are married.” When we follow His standard we maintain a purity that adds value. On the flip side, we cannot put so much value on virginity that anything less is spoiled goods. We must also rise to God’s standard of grace and complete forgiveness; His standard of anything He calls clean is completely restored.

My goal here is not to throw out personal standards of holiness.  My goal is to change our thinking…if we know who God created us to be and what He says about us, so many of the “NOs” fall away and we see all God’s “YESes”!  His “YES” brings value, depth and quality to our lives.

What about the phrase, “Standard of living”?  Some people have a high standard of living and some people have a lower standard of living. Once you have achieved a certain level of living, you really do not want to go back to a previous level. That’s not to say you cannot go back or will not go back. You may be more willing to fight to stay at the level you are at.

My brother and sister-in-law lived with us for a few years. My brother-in-law works for Whole Foods; he’s a butcher. When Whole Foods would have a good sale on meat, he would stock our freezer up. When they had ground beef on sale, so be bought 10 pounds of beef, had them wrapped in one pound packages and put them in the freezer. When I cooked dinner, I would pull out what we needed. After a month or so of using beef from Whole Foods, I switched back to the cheaper version from our local grocer. When I cooked it, it stank; it smelled rancid. I could not stand the smell of it and wondered what was wrong with it. Moving forward, I began purchasing a grass-fed beef from the local grocer. My standard changed. I was no longer “OK” with the cheaper version.

When I look at this passage in Isaiah, I think about how so many times God allows us to go through things in order to change our standard of who He is. I did not know God as my provider until I was single and did not have a job in my field for almost a year. I didn’t know God as my provider until my electricity was shut off for almost two weeks. Once I went through that season, I could not unknow Him as the ONE WHO PROVIDES FOR ME….It became my new standard.

Once God has healed you, you know Him as the Healer.

When God says you are good daughter or son, you know Him as as Abba, Father; a good, good Father.

When God brings, healing, deliverance and freedom to your life, then He becomes who you look to for healing, deliverance and freedom!

When it looks like and feels like the enemy is coming in like a flood, look around for what God is doing. Look for what He is revealing to you about Himself.

Taking it a step farther….when you encounter a situation that you haven’t walked through, look to those around you because with God there is no partiality (Romans 2:11). That means, you can ask Him for the receipts. Let me explain. Shawn Bolz told a story about his family when he was growing up. One day, his dad and sister came home and she had shopping bags filled with new clothes. She was so excited about her dad taking her shopping for “no reason”. Shawn told his dad, “I want to see the receipts.” He dad asked, “Why?” He told his dad, “I know you are a good dad and whatever you spent on her, you will spend on me.” Shawn didn’t want clothes (he wanted video games). His dad laughed…he loved that his son believed in his goodness; he loved that his son knew him well; he wanted to bless his kids. Our God also is a good, dad. He wants us to ask for the receipts. If God worked something for one person He will do it for you. Ask Him. It may not look exactly the same, but He will work on your behalf if you rely on Him.

Have you ever wondered why you envy some people. Maybe it’s not pure envy. Maybe you are getting a glimpse of something God wants you get a vision for. Maybe He is trying to stir up a desire in you that He wants to fulfill. Maybe He is waiting for you to ask Him! Maybe He wants to set a new standard of living for you.

When the enemy comes in on every side…God is going to fight for you and reveal a higher standard of living in your life.

Momlog 2018: Night Terrors


Usually the Momlog is light-hearted and funny.  Today I’m going to take on a more serious topic.

Preface this by sharing that our family is Christ-centered.  We are Christians.  We not only attend services on Sundays we pray, read our Bibles, teach our kids about Jesus.  We believe Jesus is real.  We believe that God has power today.   (Having said that, you are welcome to have your own thoughts, opinions, ideas, etc about this.  I welcome comments, questions, discussion and even disagreement…I do not welcome shaming, name calling, or putting down people. )

The boy has had night terrors on and off for a while.  At one point I noticed that it happened quite a lot when he had been over stimulated around bedtime.  Or when he was very tired.  We aren’t super rigid about bedtime but we keep a schedule.

Some of the timeline on these events were overlapping.  Our boy is 9 1/2 now.  I first noticed the night terrors around age 5.  He kept telling me about a bad “farmer” outside his window.  (I wrote about this in another Momlog).  It turned out he was trying to say “Transformer”.  My husband, is not as conservative about what he allows our son to watch: I am error on the side of conservative.  He had allowed our son to watch part of a Transformers movie.   It clearly made an impression on our son.  I prayed for him and ask that God would remove all of his memories about the show.

I monitor what our kids watch.  I do not allow shows that include witchcraft (think “Sophia the First” ), disrespecting attitudes (think Spongebob…I’m sorry, I despise this show or any of the teenie bopper Disney sitcom shows – I have strong opinions about how parents are portrayed in these shows), zombies (or any type of death culture).  Yes, I am conservative.  We do watch educational shows (think PBS, WildKratts, Odd Squad, etc).  There is something to be said for the saying “garbage in, garbage out.”  Kids will think about what we allow them to put in their mind.  In our home, we talk about self-monitoring and not watching things that mom and dad do not allow even when mom and dad are not around.  Yes, we have Netflix.  Yes, we have Amazon Prime.

We love going to the movies.  Most movies we watch before taking our kids to see them. Yes, this NOT convenient.  Parenting is not always convenient.

I wrote all of that to tell this story.

In the past 5 or 6 months, I had gotten a little relaxed on some of my own convictions.  I wasn’t watching programs with my kids but allowing them to watch some shows on their own.  I tend to like the Lego shows and Starwars show.  I wasn’t monitoring those shows.

My son loves Legos.  He had been asking me about some Legos called Bionicles.  In general I like Legos because they promote creativity and learning to follow directions and build things is good for young minds.  I looked at these Bionicles and thought, “Eewh.”  They are kind of creepy.  I’m not a big fan of children’s toys with skulls on them (see comment above…promotes a death culture).  He asked if he could watch Bionicles on Demand (I think it’s a Cartoon Network show).  I said “yes”.  At Christmas, He asked for Lego Bionicles.  Being that I’m his mom and he is a great kid who rarely asks for anything, I wanted to get him what he wanted. I found some on eBay.  I bought him one.

We had our Christmas a few days early as we were traveling for Christmas.  He was super excited about his Bionicle.  Two days later, by Christmas, he was having night terrors again.

No, I didn’t put any of this together until weeks later.

Here is what happened.  I woke up around 4 a.m. I could hear my son in his room screaming.  Normally, I would get up and go wake him up, sending him to the bathroom, basically breaking his REM cycle.  This night, I just started praying, asking God to send His peace into his room and calm his dreams.  Almost immediately, he calmed down.

When I was younger (in my 20s) I had serious night terrors and would wake up in a cold sweat.  Once or twice I would wake myself up praying.  Even in the past 10 years, on occasion, I have woken my husband up praying because I was praying in my dream.  When I have had night terrors, I have recognized a spirit of fear that I have somehow allowed in by something I read or watched.  I had somehow opened a spiritual door that allowed a bad spirit into my mind.

As I layed in bed praying for my son, I asked God, if we had any open doors that were causing these frequent night terrors.  IMMEDIATELY, I saw the Bionicle that my son had been carrying around everywhere since Christmas.  I was bummed.  How am I going to handle this?  Deep in my heart, I want the best for my kids and I do not want to have any spirits in my house other than the Holy Spirit (God’s Spirit).  As I lay awake, I decided to investigate these Bionicles (Thank God for iPhones and google).

Screenshot 2018-01-24 at 4.54.51 PM

As I read the story behind the Bionicles (on Wikapedia), I realized there was a “spiritual” story behind the toy that does not align with the Bible or our belief system. It seems innocent enough…but is it?

I prayed, asking God for wisdom.  (James 1:5).

The next day I talked to my son about the toy and the show (he had only watched a few episodes).  We prayed as a family together later that day and gave our son some choice about giving up the toy.  I did agree to get him a replacement of some type in the future.  He gladly gave up the toy.  He had another dream a few night later…then I found the box to the toy and also got rid of that.  He has been sleeping soundly.

Some children are more spiritually sensetive than other kids.  Some kids just manifest differently.  (I banned Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” for a while because my daughter had been watching it over and over and then she was yelling at her dad – Ariel yells at her dad very disrespectfully in that movie.  As soon as she stopped watching it and we explained that her behavior wasn’t honoring to her dad, she stopped yelling at him. She’s sassy and doesn’t need any thing pushing her to be more sassy).

I am also thanking God that He doesn’t remember any of the dreams he had and he didn’t even wake up.

The Bible says this:

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.

4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.  – I John 4:1-4

We need not fear.  God in us is greater than any evil spirit.

Pray and ask God.  The good news is, God loves your kids even more than you do; He does!  He wants them to be  safe, feel loved, have confidence, grow in kindness and be a light in a dark world.  He doesn’t want thier minds filled with darkness.

I’m all for real.  My kids are adopted.  They know they are adopted and why…there is plenty of darkness in the world without adding scary movies, creepy shows and toys, ghost stories, zombies, etc.

If your kids are experiencing night terrors, there are certainly physical issues you can check out.  I’m not discounting all physical issues.  There are times when it’s a spiritual issue.

Questions to ask:

  • Has anything happened to my child recently (These can also be a result of being molested, bullied, fearful – prayer can also help with any of these issues but other steps may need to be taken.)
  • Have any new toys or shows been introduced? (check those things out)
  • Have there been any big life changes going on in my child’s life? (Are you in the middle of a divorce?  Has someone died recently?)
  • Have you moved into a new house? (spirits will linger until you pray and tell them to leave, in Jesus name.   John 4:7 says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. “)

Talk to your child and find out if anything unusual has been going on.  Pray for them.  Take them to the doctor if you feel it’s a physical issue.

Remember, God made you the mom (or the dad).  God believes you are the best mom (or dad) for your child.  Those gut feelings are most often God communicating with us.

God Bless you and thank you for taking the time to read this.


Momlog 2018: So How is that “no TV” thing going?


I knew y’all were wondering.  My four year old is very persistent and has been asking every day we can watch tv yet.  Not yet.  We will plan something fun (maybe going to a movie) around Valentines day.

We have listened to several books on Audible (app).  Our boy, used a gift card that he got for Christmas (Thank you, Aunt Margie) to buy a chess/checkers/tic-tac-toe game.  Dennis has been teaching him to play and he has been teaching his sister.  Last night she had a good cry because he killed her piship (bishop) and all her pawns.  It wasn’t fair.   As a family we have been playing more games (Uno is great for kids) in the evening including playing canasta with the kids (I ended up “helping”/playing for the girl).  The kids have been building with Legos…I believe they are building some kind of fleet.

The girl did tell me she doesn’t think it is fair that we get to use our phones and she can’t use the iPad.  She has a point. We are learning family accountability.

I ordered a this devotional. (Recommended to us by our pastors)

Growing up, my parents tried to do family devotional/prayer with us but wasn’t always successful. We mostly hated it. I’m sorry, dad. Our parents were not as well equipped as we are now. They didn’t have the same resources we have available today. My parents obviously did an awesome job as we are all Jesus-loving people. It’s great that we can have a family devotion geared toward our kids age level.

One thing we do that our parents both do that our parents did is we listen to preaching messages. My dad always listened to Chuck Swindol in the morning on the radio…I still love his voice, plus he’s funny. I didn’t always understand what he was saying but it was a great habit. We listen to Bethel messages, Gateway messages and Embassy Church. We are laying a foundation.

Overall, the “no tv” thing has been good for us. We might be ready for a device-free vacation.