How to Pray for an Orphan Spirit


I am revisiting this post because I’ve noticed it is very popular (gets lot’s of visits).  When you finish reading this one, also take a look at these two post on Spiritual Stepsons (click here and here).

Malachi 4:6 (New King James Version)

And he will turn
The hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers,
Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

If you haven’t read my previous post, “Love is…” you might want to read it.  I’ve been thinking about the “orphan spirit” since I wrote about in that post.

Spiritual orphans are the result of several things.  The Bible indicates that when father’s and children’s hearts are turned from each other, a curse can result.   I am not sure about you, but I think we are there.  One of the great things about God is we can start over.    The church has allowed the attitudes and ideas of the world to infiltrate it.  With divorce and unwed mother rates soaring, western cultures have begun to embrace the idea that fathers as disposable and unnecessary.  Many individuals will live their entire lives without a healthy relationship with their father or a father figure.  Fathers have let down their children; they have abandoned and not pursued their own children.   Another attitude we have seen reflected in the church is that the “younger generation” with all their firy passion is somehow more valuable than the deeply rooted generations that have gone before them.  When society began shuffling the elderly off to nursing homes, the attitude in our churches changed as well.   Most churches market to younger people.  Meanwhile, our older generation has thrown in the towel.  they no longer want to invest in a generation that devalued them.  Rejection begets rejection.

I want to address how to handle the orphans spirit but first we must identify it.

Here are some characteristics of the orphan spirit:

  • Unable to put down roots in a church or change churches frequently
  • Always on the look out for something bigger and better
  • Feeling based faith (if it feels good, feels right, etc then I will follow it).
  • Need recognition
  • Easily offended
  • Feelings of abandonment even when one has not been abandoned
  • Attitude of “No one is going to tell me what to do”
  • Attitude of “I know…” (unteachable)
  • Survivalist Mentality always looking out for oneself
  • Never truly comfortable in the presence of anointed spiritual father
  • Reject others before they can be rejected

So what to do?  My thought have been on how to pray for individuals who have an “orphan spirit”.   I also want to address what to do if you believe you have an orphan spirit.

If you are dealing with individuals who are functioning under and orphan spirit then you must pray.  Prayer is pretty much my answer to everything, well, it isn’t the answer so much as it puts me in touch with the God who answers.  Allow God to direct your prayers.  Here one example of a pray:

I plead the Blood of Jesus upon (insert name) and I bind every spirit of an orphan from their lives.  I loose and release the Holy Spirit to hover over them to bring healing and deliverance.   Lord, you are their Father and I pray that they will receive the spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15) and that they will call You, “Abba”.  Lord I pray that healing will come to every area of their hearts.  Where their heart has become stony, I pray that you would make it a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 11:19). Lord, I ask that you will bring committed spiritual fathers into their lives to cover them in prayer, to give them direction and to love them.  God, please help this spiritual father to have the mind and heart of Christ.  In Jesus name, Amen.

When praying for spiritual orphans, it is very likely that you are one of the only people praying for them.  They have very little spiritual covering because they constantly reject it.  Keep praying for them even when you do not see results.  Most of these individuals do love Jesus but they have been deeply hurt and are functioning out of woundedness that has allowed the enemy a foothold.

If you believe you have been functioning from an orphan spirit then you have an exciting journey in your future.  Once you realize this is you, you cannot stay where you are…you must make changes.  Healing and deliverance require action on your part. You must “walk it out”.  What this means, is sometimes you will have to just “stick it out” even when things do not “feel” good or even when you are getting negative feedback. You must take responsibility for your past actions and attitudes that have led you to the point of becoming a spiritual orphan.   You must find a church (a healthy Biblical church), join that church and make a commitment to the community and leadership of that house.  You must commit yourself to communicating (listening to and sharing) with your spiritual leadership.  You must be prepared to receive correction and direction from your spiritual father.   Love is correction as much as it is affirmation.    This prayer is a good way to start:

Jesus, please forgive me for embracing the attitudes, actions and heart of an orphan.  Your heart and desire for me is that I am a healthy part of a spiritual family.  I break all soul ties I have formed with an orphan spirit in Jesus name.  I bind my body, heart and spirit to God’s will and purpose for me, in Jesus name.  Lord, I ask that you would heal my mind and my heart from the spirits of abandonment, rejection and fatherlessness.  God please help me to have the heart of a son and please help me to turn my heart toward my spiritual father.  Lord, please help me to pray for and support the spiritual fathers you have placed in my life.  Please help me to model the attitude and heart that Jesus had toward You as He walked this earth.  Lord, please reveal to me all areas in my life that have been wounded.  Please heal those areas and make me whole.  Lord I ask that you would help me to forgive everyone who I looked to as a spiritual father or leader who wounded me or failed me.  Lord, please help me to commit to a church and spiritual father.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

Being a spiritual orphan is a choice.  God has ordained some mighty spiritual fathers.  There are no Lone rangers in the Kingdom and there are no orphans.  If you feel you are either then it is time to align yourself with God and His purpose.

If you are called to be a spiritual father…then never, never, never give up.

(If this post interested you but didn’t quiet describe your situation, check out this post )


39 thoughts on “How to Pray for an Orphan Spirit

    • alexis nye

      Wanted to add…the “orphan spirit” has its roots in Not being Fathered. You see the intention of our Father God is that a child is conceived and then the father (who was to be submitted to God and fathered in his family) through revelation in the word and spirit, then gives THE BLESSING to the child. (I don’t have time to expand on this.)
      Suffice to say, this is the order flowing from the Father to fathers and to children. The Blessing is established at birth and constantly flows from the FATHER’S/father’s heart through out the child’s life time. This is the order and intention.

      Without this father’s blessing what happens to us is that we become “orphaned” from the Father. Neither knowing how to bless or receive blessing. In essence, without THE FATHER’S BLESSING (caps for emphasis) we become Our Own Father. At a point the soul takes sole control and all decision making all aspects of life stem from their own covering and their own reasoning. People keep themselves “safe” they learn to be the only source of comfort or advice. It is critically important for mothers and fathers to be raised up in Israel. It is critically important for the “father’s” who are in godly order to extend this blessing to children if they have no father. (this means a committment to them….hmmmmm God-Father) This also means that adults need this love to flow from the elders to them.
      And I will add, some times as we deal with oneanother ONLY prayer can bring us to that point of trust. This all takes COMMITMENT and a willingness to stick with eachother. And to also break the strong-hold over our churches, our cities, our homes, and our-selves.

  1. YO!!! wow…i am very surprised by this TRUTH….this can Preach…Hey where you speaking about me? i mean i may look like an orphan but i did not ever think i was ONE?……..i looked at your HIT COUNT??? is that Correct? over 44 thousand Views????? wow!!!

    CAN I SAY ONE THING…….YOU CAN WRITE!! i think your a Kingdom writer… SAY i took some notes

  2. imperfectfit

    This is a great post. Thanks for sharing it. I find myself ministering quite a bit to “spiritual” orphans and can relate to some of their challenges on a personal level. I would encourage all of us who love Jesus to rise up in fervent prayer not only on behalf of the orphans, but also on behalf of spiritual fathers that they would exhibit the loving Abba heart of the Lord. I have seen too many in spiritual authority abuse their sheep through control and manipulation. Similarly, the Church often turns a blind eye to these abuses, or even condones them. Abusive spiritual fathers can cause deep and lasting wounds that often cause years of unnecessary pain. Oh Lord, raise up Godly fathers who love You above all and will care for and shepherd Your flock as you would, with love, mercy, and truth.


    • Paul

      I have seen too many in spiritual authority abuse their sheep through control and manipulation. Similarly, the Church often turns a blind eye to these abuses, or even condones them. Abusive spiritual fathers can cause deep and lasting wounds that often cause years of unnecessary pain.

      You have no idea

  3. Paul

    Might suggest a refresher with a false movement that predated the current apostolic/prophetic mess: the shepherding/spiritual leader movement. Both did just as you describe in the above quote. FOr those who were not aware, will discuss as follows:

    Might add that those of us who have been without real fathers during our development years, we tend to be vulnerable to this kind of cult/ mind control. Please be careful.

  4. According to the Hebrew terms for ‘fatherless’ and ‘orphan’, as used in Lamentations 5:3, it can be seen that the fatherless are not always orphans, but all orphans are fatherless.
    I’ve been earthly fatherless for 40 years and I recall the ‘spiritual father’ teaching/doctrine in its infancy…began to fall for it hook, line and sinker; the teaching renewed, and even somewhat created, a void in my earthly life. As I sought to let it be filled according to this teaching, God was QUICK to remind me that it is HE who is my father because He is a father to the fatherless.

    Even at 52, He continues to father me.
    This morning, for no apparent reason, the Lord brought me to Daniel and I was reminded of how Daniel was taken from his family at a young age, never to return.
    So I will ask you: who was Daniel’s spiritual father?
    Was it not God Himself?

    Proverbs 23:
    10 Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless:
    11 For their redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee.

    I pray that none of us falls too heavily for this ‘spiritual father’ routine.
    God is truly able, if we let Him (<–keywords).

    Any mentor who is a true mentor will ALWAYS point their apprentice directly to the Trinity — not to themselves in any role.

    • Paul

      I don’t believe that Judy is saying that spiritual fathering is not necessary, but was for the most part unavailable to her (and am adding that this is true for a high number of people out there). In the mean (and between) time, she has done quite wisely and stayed in the Word of God and allowed God to teach her.

  5. Judy,

    Great point. Paul said to follow him as he followed Christ. He also called Timothy a spiritual son. Saying spiritual fathers are not necessary because God is our father, is to some degree the equivilant of saying there is no need for spiritual authority. Spiritual authority is absolutely necessary to the Kingdom…as I say over and over in my writings there are no lone rangers in the Kingdom. Individuals unwilling to place themselves under spiritual covering (authority) wind up fading out and becoming completely ineffective. It may not be a popular topic but I am willing to “put it in writing”.

    C.B. Grace

    • Thank you for your reply, CB, and space to express this in love.

      I’m not negating spiritual authority nor the position of spiritual fathering.

      And I agree that believers need to be submissive to spiritual authority – and as they mature, if they’ve been taught right, they possess the ability to be accountable to God themselves – just as adults hold themselves accountable to stop at a stop sign. To generically say that all will wind up fading out or become ineffective is not true, imho, because a true believer will (or ought to) automatically seek like-faith fellowship and hold themselves accountable to the Church. Are we not told to periodically examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith?

      So, what I AM negating (and even warning against) is the development of spiritual fathering becoming a focus, as if another major doctrine. (ie, similar to any other movement – the apostle movement, prosperity, name-it-claim-it, etc)
      Isn’t such focusing birthed as if from a Lone Ranger? I mean, isn’t Benny Hinn, for example, (or maybe it’s Copeland) the ‘father of prosperity doctrine”?
      In and of themselves, such doctrines are birthed from a focus on one or two scriptures, without the balance of God’s whole counsel. And if they can be traced back to a person, then isn’t that a “Lone Ranger”? These teachings then tend to become imbalanced to the point of misinterpreting scripture.

      My experience with this spiritual fathering movement is the misuse of authority.
      The problem with ‘authority’ is that it often gets abused when left to being humanly executed. It’s a control thing.
      Just the way you worded “Individuals unwilling to place themselves under spiritual covering (authority)…” sounds controlling. God gives each of us free will; and if we submit to Him, we will submit to His ways.

      Who did the apostle Paul submit “under”? Especially when the other apostles rejected him? Who did he declare as being his own spiritual father? His spiritual covering? Who was Peter’s? etc

      Balance. As my good friend says, the truth lies somewhere between the bookends.

      Without Guile (John Michael Talbot)
      It is not for us to be wise
      It is not for us to calculate our gain
      We should be lowly and pure
      As the children of the kingdom
      Of the King
      A King without guile

      We should not seek
      to be in charge of another
      We should seek just to be the servants of all men
      So those of us who must lead
      Will lead as only they follow the King
      who leads without guile

      Then we shall be the bride
      Then we shall be the brothers
      Then we shall be the mothers
      Of our Lord
      Born without guile

      When the Holy Spirit
      is united with our soul
      Within our heart and within our mind
      The King shall be enthroned
      Enthroned without guile

      It is not for us to be wise
      It is not for us to calculate our gain

  6. Paul

    Would never say there is never a need for spiritual authority over us. However, we do need to be careful in just who we allow to have that authority over us. For example, there was the shepherding movement (1970’s and following) that flowed mostly from the charismatic/pentecostal movements and the quite similar (though lesser known) movement of the spiritual fathering movement from certain evangelical movements. Even further back than that (5th century onward for some groups), the church has been rife with people all too eager for controlling and manipulating others.

    In light of the above statements, please understand that god called me to ministry almost 30 years ago. Within that time, I have seen much damage from a pastoral perspective. Am I suggesting that all pastors are this way? Perish the thought!!

    Instead, am simply suggesting an informed balance in this venture. Yes, we need someone to hold us accountable and we need to follow Scriptural admonition:

    Matthew 10:16 (Amplified Bible)

    16Behold, I am sending you out like sheep in the midst of wolves; be [a]wary and wise as serpents, and be innocent (harmless, guileless, and [b]without falsity) as doves.(A)

  7. It’s truly an amazing time to be alive. 2010 will deliver so many upgrades and shifts in consciousness. It’s up to us to keep pointed in the right direction and ride that wave!

  8. Tim Wright


    I would encourage anyone who has an Orphan Spirit receive SOZO ministry that they do in Bill Johnsons Church in Bethel or a Theophostic Prayer. Both of them will provide you with the experience for your belief systems to be changed and the Orphan Spirit broken.


  9. For more on the orphan spirit/heart I would suggest listening to James Jordan’s teaching in this area
    I would suggest that the orphan “spirit” is not a spirit that has invaded us but rather the default position of our own hearts/spirits and it cannot be cast out (not to say the demonic cannot manipulate us in that area). The only way to be free from the orphan heart in us is , imo, to experience the Father loving it out of us.

    • Hmmm. Not sure I really addressed it as a “demonic” spirit. There are three types of spirits we deal with..the Holy Spirit (from God), the human spirit (us) and demonic spirits.

      In this instances (and perhaps I should write this out more clearly) I was referring to the human spirit.

      So often woundedness in our lives become the open door that the demonic begins to enter and function in…. Jesus said (quoting Isaiah) that He came to bind up the brokenhearted. This Orphaned way of thinking definately indicates a wound in the human spirit….it’s just no way to live; it is not living free.

  10. Lucas A. Weddle

    This post really ministered to me. Thanks for posting it. I am seeking freedom concerning the orphan mentality, through the renewing of my mind. Daddy please prosper me in the battlefield of my own mind!! Amen

    • Tim Wright


      Without going to deeply here, the only way out of this is not through your mind but by a revelation of the Fathers Love for you. It is an experience. Look into the ministry of James Jordan and go away for a Father Heart A school, you may nopt experience it right away, but keep pursuing it. It is the experience of His Love you want not a mindful of scriptures.


      • Tim, feel free to post a link. I haven’t had time to read over the info so I cannot “official” endorce the link but I am all for sharing information.

        Thanks for reading my blog,


  11. Rebecca

    I have been a spirit-filled single mother for many years and have raised my children who are now adults without the blessing of a spiritual father. I attended one church for most of their childhood and found it extremely difficult to fill this essential role. My experience is that most men, including pastors are very concerned about getting too close to a single woman which just perpetuates the “orphan spirit”. I have not dated in more than 19 years and thus did not give any carnal impressions. I was involved in church activities but found the pastors “distant”. I have no ill-will toward them but know that this just continues the cycle of rejection in women who need “fatherly” love the most. I think because of recent headlines that most pastors or elders are in fear of giving the wrong impression. Now I’m an “empty nester” who would like to help other single mothers.

    • Hi Rebecca,

      Being a single parent is quiet a challenge. So sorry to hear that you seemingly “fell through the cracks”. However, good news. The heart of THE Father can echo in the hearts of women too. This does not deminish the need for strong spiritual fathers in our churches. Bishop Tudor Bismark says that women and even couples can function as spiritual fathers. Meaning, that seeking out a couple to father you and your family would have likely been a good choice for you. Maybe that time is past for you. I have found, for myself (and I have a great dad – a man can never perfectly fulfill every need in anyone’s life) that seeking God as my Father resolved many issues and healed me. In the absenses of a “spiritual” father, seek God as your father.

      As for helping other single moms….Go for it!! The greatest revenge on the enemy is to get your healing/deliverance and then help others get theirs (Graham Cooke quote).

      Keep me posted on what you plan to do…


  12. I found your article on the Orphan spirit a very interesting and enlightening one… I am a pastors wife who is continually and daily being healed from an orphan spirit and in my 30 years of walking with Father GOD, I have gotten acquainted with my own orphan mentality. I have sought healing through the years and have experienced great freedom through Recovery groups, SOZO, Theophostics and WELLSPRING… All of them pointed me to Father GOD as my true father…

    I am happy to say that I am getting there… drawing closer every day to true intimacy with “Daddy God.” It is good. Now, I am finding that because of my ongoing healing from orphanity (my new word for the orphan spirit), I am being sent more and more orphans to minister to…

    I find it to be difficult and frustrating.. I find myself not wanting to continue with those in orphanity because it is exhausting work! It is a daily challenge to find ways to speak into their lives and to love them unconditionally… I find myself being misunderstood by them quite often and I sometimes feel that too much is expected of me!

    I currently have 3-4 young women who seek me out for “mentoring or support” as they try to break free from destructive behavior and coping skills.. My heart is for them, my heart longs to invest in them and walk along side them as they continue toward their healing. But, at times it can be overwhelming and little appreciated! Does anyone identify with my thoughts on this?

    Your prayer for those in Orphanity or Orphan Spirit truly helped me to be more structured in my prayer.. Thank you for the time you invested in this research. And, thank you for the prayer for those who are still seeking healing from being an orphan… God really used you to speak direction to me… Thank you.

    Alyson Tucker

    • Hy Alyson,

      I totally identify with your frustration. I love mentoring young women. Often the “hardest” cases are the one who need us the most and who are the most difficult to “get through to”. Prayer works more than anything else…because it frees God to work. One of my recent exeriences I just had to “let go”. People often say they want help or want healing but when it comes to putting the work in or making some change they aren’t really ready. I’m talking about 3 years…..same cycle over and over. Know when to “let go” whether that allowing someone to fail or allowing them to spread thier wings. Pray more than you “talk”.


  13. David

    My name is David. After reading some of the characteristics of an orphan spirit, I think that I qualify at least in part for that designation. I am in a great church among very spiritually mature believers. I noticed that some of my old fears were beginning to creep up and it has concerned me. I thought to myself, “I may never find a place as good as this, so I will stick it out and somehow God will help me overcome this unwholeness I am experiencing.” Now I have a good idea about what I am dealing with. I wont dwell on the reasons why I have gotten this way because that is looking backwards and it is depressing. Instead I will look forward and press into Jesus for the healing He has in store for me. I believe that is His plan for me.

    • Barbara, I have several blog entries on the Orphan Spirit and I am currently working on a book that is titled “Fatherless”. Hopefully, I will get it completed sooner rather than later. God Bless you and thank your for reading!

  14. Dear beloved brethren,

    Much greetings through the exalted name of our Loving savior Jesus Christ from
    I am very much pleased to tell you that your teachings on your website are a
    great blessing to me, my family and the young independent christian fellowship
    that i founded when i got the call of the lord to do so.
    So, i, my wife , children and some few brethren from the community we are
    serving the lord under this christian fellowship.

    The fellowship is of 27 members.
    I also take care of ten orphans whose parents died.
    In this i am requesting you to send us more teachings that will enable us, as a
    small church to grow spiritually.

    As well it is my kind request that you also remember these needy orphans under
    my care
    in your daily prayers that God can open them ways for their needs both in
    physical and spiritual growth.As well I kindly invite you to come here in Kenya
    and bless our people with the gospel of our lord Jesus.Kenya needs mighty people

    of God to lead her in to salvation and know the Living God. Please have a kind
    consideration to extend your kind cooperation for the extension of the Kingdom
    of God. Pastor Isaac

  15. Thank you for your post. I love reading on this topic because freedom from it is so needed in our churches and the world!! I personally do not believe that the orphan spirit is a “choice”, I had walked in one for my whole life and never knew why I was the way I was. I do believe once you come to the realization of what you are walking in, that then, you have a responsibility to walk out daily renewal of your mind. I also do not believe that an orphan cannot settle and take up roots. I personally stayed rooted in a church for 14 years and walked in an orphan spirit. I wanted freedom, I was teachable and tried everything anyone ever recommended, asked prayer and still nothing, I had no idea how to receive healing or get rid of how I felt. Religion was my response to the orphan spirit. If I did enough was enough performed enough etc. maybe then I would be accepted. As I read before, an orphan spirit will cause you to walk in shame, and you will either walk in rebellion or religion. My belief is that this spirit originated in the garden. Lucifer being the first who took on an orphan spirit, and desired Adam and Eve to walk out the same with the Father. Deception leading to sin opened the door for the spirit to enter. In their state of sin, Adam and Eve remaining in their sin could’ve taken of the tree of life and been immortal in their sin, so God had to make then leave their home He had prepared for them. Orphans are without a home, independent, feel rejection even when rejection is not present, deal with loneliness, and the void of love from the Father, etc. An orphan spirit in my opinion cannot be cast out. The first reaction of Adam and Eve when their eyes were opened was fear of the Father so they hid. That is what orphans do. Perfect love cast out fear. It is receiving the Fathers perfect love that will fill the fatherless void and cause the orphan spirit to flee. I also believe that a person can be in love with Jesus, saved, etc and still have orphan ways about them. It is possible for a child of God to still have an orphan mentality. Their acceptance of the Fathers blessing and acceptance of His love over them without having done anything to receive it is the way to rid an orphan spirit. Jesus was the way to the Father, He said He would not leave us as orphans, but that He would come to us. It is what He did on the cross that was the Fathers way of opening up heaven to earth, and showing that God is a loving Father who desires to walk again in intimacy in the cool of the day with His children, He desires for us to be covered in the spirit of adoption because He is our Abba! A lot of my understanding came from researching after God laid orphans on my heart. As a former foster parent, I recognized the orphan mentality in them and then in me! This helped me see that what I was was saved, but not free, but God has loved me into adoption, not because of anything I did but because He is love!!

    • Definitely people do not choose to be orphans…until they do. Because He is good He will show us that we are orphans, or that we have become orphans. Then it becomes a choice to seek our healing, or not. I am so thankful that God has been resourcing His church with healing ministries such as Gateway (Southlake, Texas) has. It sounds like you have been healing nicely. God bless!

  16. Gabi

    I appreciate this article. I do respectfully disagree with the orphan spirit being a choice. More than likely this started in the womb or during stages of development which children wouldn’t choose to be orphans. However, I believe your words have life in this article and I just ask that god blesses you for putting in time to minister to others.

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