Post Beth

If you have been a Christian for any length of time you have probably participated in a Beth Moore Bible study, or at least you have heard of Beth Moore. If you haven’t heard of her click here to read some of her blog (and then immediately find a Breaking Free Bible Study in your area and join it…it will change your life).  It’s hard to know what title to address Beth by.  When you participate in one of her Bible Studies you feel like you know her…you feel a bit like a family friend.  Being from Texas, I would probably call her “Miss Beth”.  If I was feeling “old school Pentecostal”, I’d call her “Sister Beth”.

A few months ago my friend Candace sent me Facebook message (along with several other women) asking if we would like to go.   Out of the the large group she messaged only three of us signed on….Candace, my sister Judy and myself.  I was talking about it to my friend, Kimberly and she seemed interested and later my friend Becky said her and her mom were attending.  Candace, Judy, Kimberly and I opted to stay the night in Austin much closer to the venue and make a “girl weekend” out of it.   It could not have come at a better time.  Judy and I just threw a birthday party for our four year olds and then took my niece and nephew and our children out to West Texas and stayed for three days with 5 kids, a dog and a puppy, one air mattress (moms will understand this added stress-or) all while trying to help our sister, Jenny pack up her house and move.  It was crazy.  Our kids had way too much fun and have the injuries to prove it.  Seriously, I told the Boy he looks like a refugee fleeing a war zone; two skinned knees and I’m not sure if he got into some ants or if  some mosquitoes got to him but he had about 27 bug bites.  Turns out Epson salt soak is really good for that…well, it stops the itch. I did not want to see any kids for two weeks.  And I’m not saying “never” but I’m pretty sure I do NOT want a puppy…ever….maybe but probably not.

We went to see Beth, uh, Miss Beth.

I’m not a crier but, well maybe I am.  Maybe the Hubs is rubbing off on me.  I was crying before the first note on the piano of the first song was played.

Then Travis Cottrell sings “Victory in Jesus” (which is why I may be feeling “old school Pentecostal”).  Sometimes an old song can trigger such emotion.  Tears ran down my face. My childhood pastor passed away this past week; this is the man who first baptized me.  He battled cancer.  Lately it seems so many saints are being called home.  In the past few weeks, I’ve had his lovely wife on my mind.  She used to sing “Victory in Jesus” (not as fast as Travis) and because of her, I knew every word to that song.  I know she may not be feeling it right now but I know in her future she will be singing “Victory in Jesus”.   That also made me cry.  Thinking about her and praying for her…

The thing is, maybe a month ago we were at my parent’s house and our friends T-Bear (who probably prefers his given name, James) and Suzy (who prefers to be called Suzy but her given name is Paula…don’t tell her that I told you) came over.  T-Bear is one of those guys who can sing and preach.  He is baby (a youngster) but he likes “old school”.  For whatever reason, I started singing “Victory in Jesus”.  My dad joined in (he can sing pretty good himself) and James.  We were kind of “showing off” that we knew the verses.  When it got to the third verse, we all stalled and out of nowhere, Suzy begins to sing the last verse and I join her (did I mention that I do NOT sing good???  My dad asks me all the time to stop singing).  When we are finished she turns to her husband and says, “You didn’t know I knew that did you??” That’s the thing about Suzy, she’s got some good stuff hidden in there but you might have to get to know her to find out!  (By the way Suzy, I did bring you something from Beth Moore!!! but I’m not going to tell you unless you read this…see this is how I find out who is reading my blog).

I want to tell you all the wonderful things that Beth said but I am worn out.  Kimberly kept me up so late…she was making me laugh so hard.  It’s not her fault.  She kept telling me knock-knock jokes…no, she didn’t but she is very witty.  Then I woke up in the middle of the night (for me…it was before 6am) and I almost fell asleep during the morning session.  I want to go over my notes and give you some the highlights.

One of my highlights was spending time with my girls.  There is nothing quiet like having friends who really love Jesus and who want a Word and who are encouraging and kind….no bickering, no snappiness, no craziness…just peace and refreshing.

So this is my post shout out to my girls!!!  Yo Judy, Yo Candace, Yo Kimberly…okay, I’m not sure I did that right because that’s not really me.  Here’s how I shout out.  Hey, Y’all!  (Because that’s how we do it in Texas).

PS.  Christine Cain walked right past me today at the conference.  I almost took her picture like a paparazzi.

PSS. Beth, you were wrong….only 1/2 wrong.  There were NO dirty dishes in my sink and some of my laundry had been folded.  The Hubs knocked my socks off with that.

PSSS.  Hillsong Live is coming to the Cedar Park Center this Fall.  I’m just going to say, that place will one day be a church because it is being filled with worship!

Greatest Friends Ever

Today, the Hubs had some dental work done so he came home to “rest” this afternoon due to the strong painkillers they gave him.  So after lunch, I put the boys to bed for nap time and headed out to Target (by MYSELF)  to save $10 in sales and coupons and get a $5 giftcard on deodorant, shampoo, body wash and hair styling products.  (I also found some Lysterine whitening and Dove body wash on clearance that I had $1 off coupons for…score me.)

While I was there I heard a familiar voice…familiar because of her cute New Jersey accent…it was my friend Erin with her rugrats (the cutest kids you’ve ever seen…seriously, they are adorable).  So I call out to her, “Hey lady, you need to get those kids under control” (I was totally kidding…they were all “with her” and behaving pretty well for 1.5, 4 and 6).  She’s pretty much my superhero right now, she’s pregnant with three kids at Target; that’s brave.  We chatted for a minute and she told me she wants to help throw me a house-warming party once we get moved.  So sweet (this also means I have to get my house put together so we can give tours).

Erin isn’t the only one who has said something about helping us out. Another dear friend asked if she and another friend could come over and clean the house before we move in.  I almost cried.  I’m not great at cleaning and other people’s dirt really grosses me out.  It’s pathetic.  I don’t even like to clean my sweet husbands bathroom.  I almost cried when she asked me.

I have some great friends. 

Thank you everyone who has offered to bless us.  We appreciate it more than words can say. My cup runneth over.  (Think “Hope Floats”)  Now if we can just get to our closing.  Hopefully we will be moved in by May 1st.

Shout Out

Am I too old to do a “shout out”?  Or better yet…are “shout out” too “old school”?  I can some how see Will Farrell saying “I want to give a shout out…” 

We went to Big Spring this past weekend to visit my sister, brother-in-law and nephew.  To get to Big Spring (and by the way everyone – it is NOT Big Springs – there is only one spring and folks from Big Spring do not care for outsiders calling it Big Springs) head west on the back roads and when you hit the dessert, keep going for a while.  It’s past San Angelo but before you get to El Paso.  This is where Dennis and I met.

While we were blessed to get to visit with our friends Sammie and Jim.  They are so awesome.  Dennis and I have not gone out to Big Spring together since right before our wedding.  So we haven’t seen them in a while.  Sammie and Jim are everyday Christians; they live it every day.  Me really miss them. 

On Sunday we saw Mitzy, Zenon, Edward, Kevin, Angela, Jason, Jacqueline, Marcy, the Sanders, and so many others.  We had a chance to visit with Priscilla and Ruben for a little while. 

For all those people we didn’t get to see…here is your shout out.  Hey, Kim and Jim (we missed y’all) and the Walkers.  We also did not have a chance to stop by and see the Norths.  They have been such a blessing in our lives!  I am sure I am forgetting someone.  We hope to visit more frequently so hopefully, we will see you next time.

What’s up with Facebook?

My sister called me yesterday and said I have to join Facebook.  Oh, the endless hours of figuring out another networking system.  I am on MySpace and LinkedIn.  I rarely check ether one.  She convinced me to join by telling me one of my friends from high school is on.  I’ve been trying to find this particular friend.  So I joined. 

And now I am going to have to find suitable (by suitable I mean cute) pictures to post so people will want to be my friend.  Then I will wait for people to send messages to my wall. 

Just another thing to manage….who has the time?

Too much Estrogen??

Can there be too much estrogen?  I just spent the weekend with the “girls”.  We had a great time doing things our husbands wouldn’t like doing like going to Trade Days in Fredericksburg (Texas).  And eating chicken salad at a hidden bakery called “Rather Sweet”.  I didn’t have the chicken salad – I had a B.L.A.T.  (Bacon, Lettuce, Avocado and Tomato Sandwich)…it was great.

After three days, I was so ready to see my husband.

Women are complicated.  Seriously.  I found out several things this weekend.  One of the girls who went, I’ve always thought of her as a friend.  I’ve known her for years.  One thing I know about myself is I’m not very good at being friends.  I am not a traditional friend.  I don’t remember birthdays or anniversaries.  I rarely send cards.  I like talking in person and not much on the phone.  I’m not the kind of friend who is going to call you once a week to just catch up.  I’m more of a “let’s go have coffee and hang out” person.  I also don’t mind being by myself.  Since I always have people with me (either Dennis or my sister-in-law who is staying with us) when I get a chance to do something by myself I am likely to take the opportunity.  I am not a typical friend.  This weekend, I found out that I’m not really very good friends with this girl.  I always thought I was but it turns out she doesn’t think so.  She brought one of her really good friends with her.  The girls were talking about something that had happened; something negative.  They all knew what was going on.  So I asked “What happened?”.  Normal response.  You shouldn’t talk about something that everyone knows about except one person unless you are willing to share with that person too.  No sharing.  It’s not like I was dying to know or anything.  But when the response was, “I would rather not say” when it is apparent everyone else knows then what you are really saying is “I would rather not share this information with you”.  I felt like an outsider.  It was unexpected.  It hurt.

It wasn’t just this incident.  These women have all been married for years.  They are all moms.   They seemed to have disqualified me from sisterhood because I don’t fit in their box.  I heard things like “You will have to eat your words when you become a parent”. 

We complain about that we need affirmation.  But we don’t affirm others.  We complain about other people in our lives who get more attention than us but then we make things all about us. We want from others what we are unwilling to give.

I left the weekend realizing two things.  I miss my girlfriends; Alice, Angela, Jennifer, Jenny, Judy, Daphne.  I get to see Judy but most of the other girls I do not get to spend much time with.  I need friends who understand, just because I don’t call you everyday it doesn’t mean we aren’t close – if you need me, I’m here for you.  But I probably am not going to call for weekly updates.  It’s not me.  A true friend is someone who just let’s you be you.

We must constantly re-evaluate relationships.  They change.  Sometimes they change without us even realizing it.

Maybe girl weekends just involve too much estrogen.  Hopefully the next trip will at the very least be a “couples weekend”.  Because estrogen needs a balance.

Friend or Foe?

Do you find there are some relationships in your life you hold onto because the other person makes you feel positive about where you are spiritually?  Not that the person is a positive spiritual influence but rather they are such a mess that you feel better about yourself. 

When I was single, I would say that I had friends on every level spiritually.  Some who were sharpening for me; they challenged me to grow and be more of who God made me to be.  I admit, I had a few friends who I kept around because they always had some issue or drama going on that made me feel a little bit better (why don’t we use the real word? superior) about where I was spiritually.  These friends always presented me with ministry opportunities as well. 

Sunday night, I watched the second half of Joel Osteen’s message on TV.  I admit, Joel’s messages are usually pretty milky (not solid spiritual food).  But I was pretty down on Sunday night.  The day had been stressful.  (Have you ever felt like you need a spiritual detox? )  So I was flipping channels and Joel was on.  He was talking about being a person of accomplishment.  Several things he said stuck with me.  He said your friends should be people who are doing something with their lives.  If they aren’t challenging you to meet and even exceed your potential you should not be friends with them.  Those are some very powerful words.  If you really eliminated people from your life who were not challenging you, who would you be left with?  You would be left with your true friends. 

I’ve had several situations with people who asked my opinion and were then offended with my answer.  But I spoke the truth. The Bible says (Read Proverbs), “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”.  My intent was never to wound.  The Bible also says, “The truth shall set you free”.  By speaking truth into the lives of my friends, I feel that I am being the best friend I can possibly be.  My friends, my closest friends are people who have been willing to tell me the truth even when I didn’t want to hear it.   

Is the person who listens to you and agrees with everything you say really being a good friend to you?  Is the person who always sees your side but never helps you see another perspective really being your friend?  You have to ask yourself, “Who in my life has really been a friend to me?  Who has challenged me to be the best?”.  The person who always agrees with you; the person who goes along with every suggestion and idea you have; the friend who always tells you you’re the best may not be your friend at all. 

Have you ever been the cool kid?

When I was growing up, we attended a small Pentecostal Church.  I was the ONLY girl my age at the church.  Seriously, for like two or three years I was the only girl with twelve boys.  I was always praying that God would send me a best friend.  I had my cousin and several best friends that were boys (hey, I was 10 and 11 years old).  Then the church started a private school (which turned out to be a disaster for my education) so in 6th grade I met a girl named Peaches with beautiful flaming red hair and her sisters Kim (who we called Kimby) and Gina.  Peach, is one month older than me but because her birthday is in September and mine is in October she was actually a year a head of me in school.  Gina was one year older than me and Kimby was a year and some change younger than me.  This all worked out well because my sister, who is two years younger than me was close to Kim’s age.  In our later teens, the five us ended up hanging out together a lot.

Peaches was my best friend at school but they attended a very large no association Pentecostal church across town.  The church I attended frowned upon us visiting this other church for a variety of reasons but primarily because our church viewed this church as completion and we were losing and losing badly.  When the next school year rolled around, my parents placed us in a different private school (much better school) and I didn’t see much of my friend Peaches. 

A year passed and there were some issues at the church we were attending.  I honestly do not know what all was going on but my dad felt that something bad was going to happen (which he was correct about and if we had stayed we would have ended up being dragged through an ugly church split – thank you dad for sparing us that) so we started attending the church across town. 

This new church, is very large, especially to a 14 year old who had attended a church of 150 to 200 members for her entire life.  This church had 1000 members.  The youth group alone had 150 students.  When my sister and I walked into the youth for the first time we were overwhelmed.  Guess who appeared out of nowhere and took us in?  Peaches, Gina and Kimby.  To us they were just our friends but in this youth group, they were the popular girls.  We didn’t know.  We felt at home with friends and we had a great time.   We became cool kids.  But we didn’t know it.  I really didn’t know this for several years.

One of the things we were encouraged to do was meet new students who visited the church and invite them to attend the youth group.  Since we were new we didn’t really know who was new and who wasn’t.  So one Wednesday or Sunday I invited a girl, Carie, to go to youth with me.  She had grown up at the church but really didn’t know anyone.  She went with me several times and ended up becoming friends with several other girls.  We became very good friends in our early 20s.  She told me that when we were in youth most of the girls hated me and my sister.  I asked why?  We tried to be nice to everyone and included everyone.  She told me many of the girls who grew up there wanted to be in the “in crowd” and we arrived one day and we were automatically “in”.  Wow, we didn’t even know.  We were having fun with our friends.

I guess I’ve never thought about it much.  I wasn’t “in” any group in high school.  I was friends with people from different groups.  I didn’t hang out much with people from school because I was involved with youth group.  I served on the leadership committee for our youth group.  When I was 18 or 19, I helped start a young singles group at the church.  I helped plan events, etc.  I was always at church.

When I moved to Alabama, I eventually attended a  large Baptist Church with around 150 singles.  It’s a long story but I eventually jumped in and became one of the leaders among the singles.  I facilitated small groups in my home and frequently hosted parties.  My apartment became a hang out with some of the singles.  Eventually, Angela and I moved in together and we always had something going on…friends over for dinner parties (I once cooked Veal Marsala for 22 people), to watch movies, for any reason.  We were the “in group” and anyone was welcome to hang out with us.  We didn’t set out to be the “in group”, we were just having fun.  We “owned it” our attitude became, “this is our church and our singles group and we will help you get connected.”

What I am finding now is I am not always going to be in the “in crowd”.  That’s okay but at what point in life are there no more “cool kids”?  When you have children do you hope they will be “cool kids”?  Does it ever stop?  Being the “cool kid” is fun.  But you must be able to move beyond that or you will be stuck at one specific time in your life.  It’s okay to just be one of the kids.